What I have begin to notice, at least I think, that the more I use my brain the more “fit” it becomes. Even my thoughts lean towards healthier when I am actively using my mind. I set on a course to try and improve my life the day my son was born. I was the farthest think from the perfect person but I was going to own up to my imperfections. I was going to become so transparent that for the most part nobody would notice me anymore. I didn’t need to be noticed anymore because if all this reading and learning about life has taught me is that what we really love about life is the idea of being loved. I am crazy emotional just like any one. Without even having my son I was like a fierce Bobcat out to protect my young. I was becoming fierce and a force to be reckoned with. What I was begin to fine tune was this ability to communicate in a way without saying words. It is hard for humans to experience this because we are so self absorbed. It is more than walking a mile in another’s shoes. It is experiencing their whole journey right from the beginning and letting them know they are accepted every step of the way. Building relationships no matter who they are with is one of the most gratifying moments one can have while living on this Earth. Being humble enough to not turn your feelings and your emotions back onto them but give yourself completely so they can pour out heart.
I am the Queen of irrational, hot tempered or whatever else you may call it. Unfortunately these days I know it is time for me to pass on that crown. I don’t want to tarnish what it means to be alive through my own selfish, narcissistic traits. We all have a little narcissism inside of us. We would be liars if we said no. We have to be self centered some times because if we aren’t we would get eaten up alive. What I have begun to understand is there is another way to go about things without getting heated or hurting anybody else. When I think about how precious life is I realize it is not just mine that is precious. It is everything, every being, every species that is living and breathing that deserves to be celebrated just for being alive. We have to adapt to our surroundings somewhat in order to make it through to the other side. Make it through with little to no reaction because the reaction that we give will have a dramatic impact t those that we hold dear. Not every incident deserves a reaction. We don’t have to move o to 100 at the drop of a dime. We can take a deep breath and absorb in our surroundings trying to be compassionate for those that are around.
There is something very unnatural about the way we began to shape our destiny’s. The desire to have the best, most, greatest extended so far into our psyche’s we were prepared to sacrifice everything just to obtain. It is supposed to be engrained inside every species to want to survive. Species would evolve and adapt and become familiar with a new norm. We however have not. We have diseases and viruses hell bound on destroying us. Attacking us like no other species found on Earth. I almost feel like we have over stayed our welcome and everything that is happening is Mother Nature trying to heal. I used to believe in all the hype too. The one where animals have no feelings. And living with the cats, the dogs, the skinny pig, chinchilla and the birds and babies I can’t help with swell with happiness in the lives that are all living. There are relationships forming between all these animals, including the cats and it is living proof they are just trying to live just like us. Living with 9 cats you can see the friendships formed, the cliques, the bully, the loud mouth, the snuggler, the granny….They all have these unique personalities. This is me. This is who I was destined to be when I was born. A lover of all lives no matter what they were composed of or looked like. For the first time in a long time I felt alive. In order to increase your Emotional Intellect you have to walk into a lot of pain. You have to fully feel the emotion and put it into compartments where you can rationally think and act appropriately. I have never felt so empowered before and it is all this information that I want to pass on through my family and friends. We are ALL worthy of love and until you can let the filling resonate through every fiber of your being life might always feel dull lacking passion. You have to appreciate your life for all it’s blessings. There are some incredible souls who haven’t made it this far.
What we can expect to get out of something is exactly how much we are willing to put in. My husband asked me last night what I wanted for a New Year’s Eve snack and all I could think about was nachos. Something comforting. Something that would hug my insides and scream ARRIBA!! and run away. Errands and minds always slip so at 10 pm all I had were the nacho crumbs you see on the right. In an instant I felt sad and wanted to soothe my wounds with some misery. Over nachos right Cuckoo! I wanted to ask my rational mind what the hell is your problem. Snacks are snack and everything can be dressed up to be something better, something new. That if you only accepted things for what they seem to be you would never realize the potential that you were born on this Earth to do. We can control our thoughts and we play a very big part in our destiny. We can walk down the normal path that we follow day in and day out or we can bob and weave and get lost in the day by being absorbed with what is right in front of us. I looked at my fridge and right then and there I was determined to dress these poor little chips into something incredibly amazing. I took what I had and transformed them into something new. It only took a few minutes more. What I am trying to say is if we spend just a little more time making something great you might just sing a lil different tune.