Crack A Lack

There is turning a blind eye and then there is being taken advantage of for being blind. You don’t forget the way it feels when somebody betrays you. If you are like you hope them the best and you move along. You have already experienced the blind side of their hate. I don’t need to enter a room to know that somebody is talking about me the truth comes out in the end anyway. I didn’t even care when the rumours circulated that I was down right mean to somebody I was taking my time getting a ready on. I already pegged her guilty by association but I was also intrigued so I dipped my toes in tepid water but kept my guard up the whole time. I don’t have time to speak anything other than how I feel because I am busy becoming somebody I am proud of. Somebody my son can hold his head up high and say that is my mom. I know no matter what I do I can never impact the world. My goal is to make our world better because that is something that I can at least do.

I haven’t always been this way. It was my near death experience. Brushing with death changes you permanently in ways some will never understand. In fact you hardly understand them yourself. Your third eye remains open guiding you down the path that realism can’t see. The internal struggle that becomes you is like a time bomb waiting to go off. It’s because you understand the world so much differently that only those who experienced can truly understand. I was an *sshole for most of my life but what my heart was opened to is the possibility I could be more. My life is just a miniscule moment that exists absolutely nowhere when all is said and down. Our life’s meaning is defined only in the moments where your heart beats in tune with one another, where harmony is born. We shouldn’t gravitate towards another’s pain, anguish or heartbreak. We are drawn to it in ways that makes us run towards it like a moth to a flame. Sometimes in life though the flame will combust so that everyone can see. Like a nuclear bomb hitting land for the first time it takes over everything, common sense civility. No what you stand for nothing less, maybe more. You can’t sway in the wind because something entices you. You have to throw your shoulders back and keep your head up, stand tall.

Being passive agressive just shows how mean you are and how little respect for the World you have. You say you have more respect for somebody who has the courage to walk away. What made you not want to take your own advice when you chose to dead lock and engage? What about the fact you called on the other a higher set of standards that you somehow get to ignore. What about leading by example and handling the matter behind closed doors. No you did what you do best building an army against each other demanding others chose sides and getting ready to go to war. I couldn’t believe how quick the one that lied played the victim. All that was asked, behind closed doors, was why did you lie about something so simple. If I remember correctly isn’t this a common thing you have yet to overcome? Asking too many people for the exact same thing. A story for you to make your pocket book sing. Nobody likes to be confronted so when you are do you always play the victim? I get it nobody likes to be called out and nobody likes to be wrong but what made you sell out so easily betraying a friend along the way.

Did you even consider that some of us truly wanted to be on your side. We waited and hoped for nothing and got sold down the same shore. Weren’t the same promises made to many and she was the first to stand up and say hey? None of it happened the way you said it did. In fact didn’t the one who made the original promise run to her with the proposition? Then sold her out when a story she liked more came along? Didn’t she try to do the same to me but I nipped that action in the bud. How many stories were printed before mine while you tried to keep me in the wings. I lost the respect for all of you when you were talking sh*t behind my back. I will always call out a racist and I will NEVER accept that friendship back. Call my beautiful BIPOC friends animals and I will never have your back. But you decided to celebrate her hate towards BIPOC by publishing her in your calendar. You were right about me. I am a liability and I will always call it as I see. I am on nobody’s side but the human spirit your character is what matters to me. I will never waiver in my loyalty to humanity or those who sacrificed so much to live free.

What makes another betray their species like we are nothing more than a joke. My rose coloured glasses have long been shattered from people believing all the lies. You say a whyte girl has no business putting her nose in to matters involving her BIPOC friends. I will never stop using my voice and I will never waiver on how I feel. Humans were nasty in every conceivable way to people they chose not to understand. Human beings just like you and me were gassed for no reason. If your heart doesn’t bleed for them then those who lost their lives did so for no reason. Human beings became speed bumps in Hotel Rawanda and millions more turned to dust in the proverbial fight. When we fight and lie amongst each other what choice do we have. Growing tired of listening I chose to crack a lack.

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