An independent woman doesn’t get that way entirely because she wants too. For some of us it is because growing tired of our disappointment in others we would rather stay in control. Imagine the world you thought you were living getting turned around by others misgivings and feelings towards others. It’a not because of anything we have done but the beliefs of others. There was a time where woman were woo’d and courted like the delicate flowers that they were, kept that way by the tyranny of men. When you look into the windows of the past it is hard to say a woman’s place was in the home. She was obviously bound to the home but her day was spent with menial tasks such as making lace or needlepoints. The well to do women was even disengaged from her children keeping a wet nurse on staff or sending her children to boarding school. Were we ever a part of our children’s lives or were we always isolated away from them. We send them to school, then we are always at work. How do they learn how to love and to set up proper boundaries if they spend most of their lives wandering around. We don’t get promised another day with each other so why not love the days we have.

Is it just me or are men digressing backwards. I have had one too many dates were the men insisted a paid. Imagine the audicty and arrogance for a man to say, “I believe in women’s liberation you can pay the bill.” It even runs further than that in the ways men have expected us to keep to the children and to the house while no other help or sympathy changes hands. Some of us work full time as well and there just is not enough hours in the day to get it all done. I grew up on a farm where my dad tended to all the outside stuff and my mom kept care of us and the inside. Sunday’s were for baking and dinner’s were spent around the table.

When you have been exposed to this class of men who expects us to do it all you may try to excuse their behaviour along the way. Sometimes we think it’s because they were loved by their momma’s mostly I found it’s because they are narcissists only after what they can get. We are momma bears after all. Destined to love and care for those in front of us at least that was how my upbringing raised me. Think of the way your Grandmother presented herself at family gatherings. Dressed to impressed  in her fanciest dress, favourite jewels and hair set just so. Her family was her greatest accomplishment and the way she worked the room just so. What kind of woman waits until every last mouth was fed. Picking from amongst the scraps as she begins to clean. Every thing she sets out to do is an expression of her love. What did you do in those moments to express yours? What I loved about our elderly is the way they treated us children. High up on a pedestal is where we all stood. In their eyes we could do no wrong in our eyes neither could they. When did we stop caring about what they thought of us? Don’t say you don’t because the world wouldn’t be like this. We would all be better humans if we lived in their eyes.

The idea that a stranger would demand and expect such an outpouring of love is so foreign to me. Imagine wasting so much energy in a direction that will never serve you. It is human nature to want and expect to live the very best life possible. What would be the point to life if we didn’t. For some we don’t expect or want to use anybody it just comes more naturally for some than others. Maybe it is because we are drawn to being nurtured like a hunger we want to feed. I am convinced that true love is the best feeling on Earth. I think what makes us numb to it is the unrealistic expectation that we have been imposing on it. Yes there are millions of people we can experience but there is way more value in keeping a few close for the rest of our lives. Being able to reminisce about the good ol’ days is something we should all be working towards. What is a point of making memories if we never have anybody to share them with. No one who cares to listen to our stories, no one who cares about the who, whens and what for’s. Imagine if we were just a spec of dust waiting to be swept away. Underneath the doormat maybe to be seen the next day.

So what happens to the independent woman who has become that way because of growing hard and cold world. Tired of opening her heart to many and having it shattered into pieces she learns to walk alone. Cooking meals for one and sleeping to noon she answers to noone but herself. She relies on herself to keep her heart full and happy never factoring in what other true hearts can actually bring. Love does save all but hate and fear will keep us forever divided engaging in the obscene and impure. Imagine who you would be if life never hurt you, if you could kiss the pain all away. You would learn to live in the moment. Never leaving your heart astray.