I used to have so much faith in the Universe until I realized just how salty of a b*tch she can be. Why is it that some have to take blow after blow while others breeze through life with not even a scratch, and I mean nothing at all. There are those that seem like a dark cloud is constantly hanging over them with just enough sun to keep them on the border of being sane. They say appreciate your life and be thankful for what you have but how do you do that when you live in fear of what could be potentially taken away. One day life appears to be normal and the next nothing will ever be the same. What truly bothers me is in knowing the ways that others have imposed their will unwillingly onto others. I am guilty of not knowing all the details of the “Long Walk”. Somehow these very important details escaped the pages of my history text. I remember thinking that our European settlers were in the right for executing orders to ensure their livelihood and sanity all at the expense at another race’s expense. I remember thinking that the Native Canadians who inhibited this country were savages and would sooner scalp your hairline then it wads to learn your name. There are two sides to every story and back in my day all I heard was one. Imagine how much different my thinking would be if we were educated on this attempt of ethnic cleansing long before Hitler was even born. Just imagine a world where we weren’t afraid to educate our children on the horrible ghosts from our past. We can not move forward from this attempt of extinction until we stare it point blank in the eyes. What this indicates to me is the very seem people who tried to cleanse away the Jewish line of ethnicity tried to do the same long ago on Early American shores.
We have instilled so much truth built on a menagerie of lies. Now we try to banish the horrors that make our cheeks blush red. What you have to remember though is during that time those people were held in high distinction and now because the rules have change we want them run into the ground. When we retaliate in this way we show just how far away from the truth that we are willing to go. If we ignore what it is that was done to make the world seem unjust and far from right then we are just as guilty if it was us engaging in these acts. Why hide away the opinions that ruled amongst many at the time? Shouldn’t these moments be used for enlightenment instead of minimalizing their lives at hand? Too morally banish those that did the best they could in a time that we will never understand leaves a great hole for interpretation. Life needs to be experienced and it needs to be lived in order for us to get the most out of it that we can. How can we learn from our mistakes if we just erase them from plain sight. We can’t use an ol bic pen and a tub of liquid paper to make it all go away. These are tools we can use to help show others that you can live a certain way. When you come down on those whose family line did nothing but adapt to their environment because it is engrained in each and every one of us to do the best we can to survive we say their family history is insignificant in the longer scheme of things. Nobody wants to hear their own existence was for nothing. I think that is most of ours general fear. We want to hear that we tried the best we could i the hand that was given not hear what a trash bag after all these years.
We hear live in the moment and to not take others for granted. Appreciate their time line in much of the same way that you should be considerate of yours. There are these days where I try to wallow in my own self pity. No pity seems deep enough all things considered. We all need to adapt accordingly to try to live with passion and find meaning in every day. I try to live amongst the worthy and learn as much as I can in every possible way. What started as a pity post lead me to eventually appreciating my life. To dissect it into pieces brings everything into light. These days it seems I am getting pulled into temptation and being threatened with a deep pit of despair. Although my toes have curled over the sides I am only there to look and not fully immerse myself back in. We woke up to a sick dog and I mean he was very sick. Apparently eating compost can be very life threatening to a dog. Waking up at 4 in the morning to vomit all over your house somehow heightens all your senses and some get filled with the slow simmering of rage. When my dog got up you could see he had no balance. He had lost the ability to hold his pee and now it was all over my house. I shouldn’t have to mention but my soon was awake, my husband was getting heated and my poor dog just looked at me with these incredibly sad eyes. From the time he ingested the compost to where we found ourselves now the vet told us we were already too late. It was too late to pump his stomach and we had to wait for nature to run it’s course. That feels like my life one kick in the can after another. No sooner do I get my wits about me and Miss Mother Nature oh just wait a sec hold on. It’s like you need to have this sprinkling of bad in order to get a dashing of something good. I wait on pins and needles to see just how bad this one event might get. No matter the severity of how bad this maybe for me I would take this moment over what millions probably even trillions were forced to experience. I never had my freedom taken away for me just being me. I also never had to watch my family get ripped away from me and knowing that sooner or later we were all destined to die. We have never healed or mourned the loss of so many. How can we say that we have when entire families were taken away. We merrily trapeze throughout our lives with hardly an acknowledgement of what other lives were reduced to. I will always believe that life has a purpose even in the ones who think no purpose was their dues. We are all entitled to nothing yet we are always expecting so much. If only we can heal each other’s pain and maybe take it all away. Maybe for an eternity or maybe we can extinguish it for good. I know I am tired of hearing about the nightmares although I am no longer entirely surprised. To live in a time that we have given up on trying to understand or to say to those that have travelled you are forgiven for you were only a man.