My darling husband has started this witty banter that always ends or starts with “Pro Wife Tip” like what he has to say might benefit another husband. Going on four years married in the most rockiest of relationships I am surprised in the confident air that he spews out his next tip. As soon as he starts up I think where is the shovel, not literally but come on. The man never says anything positive to save his life now he has this to go off of.  After the dog poisoning (he is safely recovering at home now) it was a whirlwind of a day and wouldn’t you know the dishes piled up. “Pro wife tip let the dishes pile up so you have something to do the next day.” I am all about good natured ribbing but not like this an not when there is no affection tied to it at anytime. He says it about the laundry and has been making little quips like these for years but now he has decided to tile them and done himself a comedian cap  as I take another step away from this relationship.

For some of us all we have is our homes and our relationships inside of them and for me that has been the case for the past year now. Yes my mother in law has visited and a handful of other people but for the most part it has been me talking to a 3 year old and pairing my cats into budding relationships. What I need most is just a stimulating conversation that doesn’t critique  my housework or the lack there of. I know what are you thinking, how on Earth did she get pregnant in the first place. A lot of ovulation tests, and I mean a lot, so we didn’t miss the moment most conceivable to conceive. It boiled down to extending our family and honouring the vows committed on both ends. I still believe that there is something worth working out even after all these pro tips have made there way to my ears. I look at my husband with a side eye after these comments and just want to rip him in half. The old me would thinking nothing of it. Looking at my husband though I know that I have added to this moment now trying to communicate to him how much it hurts is going to be an obstacle in a half.

I believe there is truth in what he is saying to some degree as I am a stay at home mom with the opportunity to ensure my house is kept clean. I know my mother doesn’t work here and it is up to me to keep this house together it’s just the gentle nudge of encouragement that gets under my skin. I have always believed the parent who stays at home is in charge of keeping the house somewhat maintained. How can you expect the one who goes off and works a full day to come home to a disaster. I could only imagine the feeling one gets when you come home after a hard day and it’s like “what the hell” did you do all day.  Some days are harder than others and on those days my son and my animals become my number one focus.  I am not a wonder woman like most husbands believe just a passionate, compassionate woman who would move heaven on Earth for her family. Some day’s are harder than others and let’s be real it’s not like we ever get a break or can tag out because nine times out of 10 our husbands are on the can. So I can live without the witty banter of what needs to be done or tips on how to do it more effectively. That kind of negativity nobody needs in their life because we are all doing the best that we can.

Pro Wife Tip.  Don’t pay no mind to your husband’s comments because they don’t carry much weight anyways. I know what I am capable of and I know what is important. No amount of badgering is going to sway my mind on the opposite. With nothing else to say because obviously I am not entertaining it he quickly begins on all you are about is taking your pictures and videos.  Is it just me now or did he decide that he would rather crush me with his weight because it is taking all that I can not to rip his head off, with words none the less.  The well being of all the lives in my house is what I gravitate towards first. I make sure that all are lovingly taken care  of with adequate attention and love. All living things need this. Yes in some ways it is my fault that we have I think 20 animals in here but in some ways he was an instigator too. Just last night he spite at me that I was too consumed with pictures.  Back up Tonto I did EVERYTHING before that (including the dishes) and that is even taking our son and my dog for a walk at 6:30 because I could tell by their eyes they wanted to go. So how was your 2 hour nap fyi. This man sleeps more than normal and I try to let it go uninterrupted.  Isn’t that what one does when they appreciate the roof over their heads and their bills being paid? All I am asking is for some validation in my life, a purpose. Something to make me feel like I still exist and am still worthy of life in the world. It isn’t for attention that I desire to do these things. It’s the feeling of reaching out to somebody and not feeling all alone. Imagine what my day would be like without my blog, reading, violin, and playing dress up. In light of this pandemic I wouldn’t even get dressed at all. The only pro wife tip any of us ever need is to lead by your heart and what feels right. We have it engrained in us to be nurturer’s and companions after all.  The only success I care about is the way that I am perceived by those that I love and I do love myself and I know that I am doing the best that I can. Some days are harder than others and I don’t need the encouragement of somebody oblivious to it all.