“Perhaps the hardest thing I’ve learned, and still struggle with, is that I don’t have to be finished in order to be whole.”
Really think of what that means. Maybe it means something different from person to person. Or maybe just like mathematics once we all get on the same wave length than there can only be one meaning. Think of what it means for one to feel whole? Does it mean that one person is brainwashing and the others are just following suit? Or does it mean doing the right thing from moment to moment can only possibly mean one thing to the righteous person. Maybe righteous is too bold of a word but what I am trying to say infinite meanings means it is yet to be proven so in facto we can only truly have one definition when it comes to being whole.
The idea of being finished? Isn’t that something that we are always reaching for? The idea of being complete? How are we meant to be something that is impossible to obtain while living? We are giving an opportunity in human form to go on with our day and inspire magical things yet we satisfy our urges with tangible things. We want the biggest house but not to fill the rooms with laughter but to serve as a beacon to show off to the neighbours. We want the biggest, fastest cars not because we have anywhere important we need to go we just like having the best things. Closets full of clothes that we only wear to show off to other people. All these things to show that we have made it in the world but do these assets actually mean anything?
We spend our whole lives working towards feeling complete when all we need has been baried deep inside us. Every insecurity we have ever experienced covering up who we were truly meant to be. As a child who loved animals all I wanted to do was share my life with them. I wanted to love them the way they were designed to be loved as curled up babies sleeping in their mothers wombs. The selfless way they look towards us for love and the cowards way we look towards them as animals. They are more than animals, they are living beings. The farther we get from their humility the more horrible it is we are to become.
I am not ready to be finished yet. To me when you are finally done becoming all that you are there is only one thing to do. You sit and wait for the inevitable to occur replaying the moments you treasure dear. There are those that you thought would have played a bigger picture in your end story but they are nowhere to be found. Some say you are lucky to have lasted this long but once you hit your peak and there is nobody waiting for you does it truly feel like luck? With nobody left to reminisce with what happens to you? Where do you go?
Nobody can enhance the way it feels to be alive. I don’t mean somebody who is charming, witty and fun. Of course they make life better in the moment but how do you get that alive feeling to say? How do you light a fire in your life and keep it burning away? You have to fall in love with your life and the simplistic beauty that is hidden within. We are all given ir. Every single breathing thing on this Earth just wants to live. Flowers grow to the sky, squirrels forage, birds fly, children laugh. All these things we take for granted are so incredibly amazing. Have you ever watched a bird spread their wings and fly? They take that leap and their they go, off to ride the wind.
When was the last time you truly shared the energy of another being. When I visit with Daisy (my budgie) I close my eyes. Not the whole time. But enough for us to absorb in each others presence coming to a safe and happy place. She lands on the tips of my fingers and walks down to my elbow with her warm tiny feet. Her walk is like the happiest dance as she chirps the whole way. I bend my elbow brining her towards my chest and face. I like to feel her warm body against my cheek before she hops on my shoulders and flies away. She flies to greet her parents and siblings who are still in my care. With so much negativity these days I keep them here to keep them safe because althoug small their lives are so precious to me.
I feel whole but I don’t feel complete. I just know there is still so much left to experience and learn and grow. Not feeling complete doesn’t mean it’s bad. It all depends on how you arw looking at it. Who wants to live in the world where you have already realized your truest potential. It is like the athlete who peaks in high school what happens to them? You don’t just peak once in your life there are so many more things we can become and do. Sometimes society though sings another song. Sometimes it is easier to live in a world with little or no expectations but then that is all we will ever be. Wouldn’t you rather be a continuous work in progress than a shell of a person you were destined to be.