At the end of an exhausting weekend all things tend to melt together. is when you are a part of a family is something you can’t escape you have to meet head on. I tend to find that the easiest way to make it through is to keep my head in the clouds and just get through. Home projects, keeping things tidy and of course controlling a sometimes out of control toddler. The barking of the dogs is soon to come to halt. Brutus responded well to his shock collar so in keeping up the pack mentality we ante upped all three. It was so peaceful as soon as those collars went around their neck. Like a secret code that they finally mean business so it is time to smarten up. It is going to get complicated that is for sure. Two dogs on one remote with two different channels and one dog on the other…wish me luck. I say me because I am the one that is here more waking hours so it is up to me to get that brigade under control.

Of course it makes sense that I make a run for nature and see just how green my thumb can actually be. I have read a few books now on gardening and I think I am ready for the task at hand. My husband went out to by one of those two tiered indoor green houses and came back with something a little bit more ambitious. I am up for the challenge and for now it is set up indoors. here in Alberta our growing season is not only shorter it is volatile you just never know just went you might get some snow. I am just starting everything from seed and seeing what I can get to sprout then to see what I can get to take in the dirt after that. It is a surreal moment actually for somebody like me literally returning back to he roots. There is something so comforting about sustainable living that is appealing to me. Obviously I am not going to go full tilt and move to the moments but it is just nice to know that if given some seeds you could potentially make it work. Speaking of seeds did you know there is a guarded world seed bank for every single species of plant. It is guarded and I think hidden which made me ask the question if the world got wiped out and we had to start from scratch how would we know to look there? With your hands in the dirt you can’t help but think about how many people found dirt to be their last resting place. We always question how it is the Earth is billions of years old but we as a species only started inhabiting a small fraction of that? How is that so and does it even make sense no matter what story you chose to believe it doesn’t so now what?

I want to live in a world that is truly free, free from others ill wishes and bad intentions. More people these days are capable of real horrible things and it is sad to see the state we find ourselves in Who do you trust in a world spun out of control? And when will we finally learn to take a deep breath.. We aren’t going anywhere. There is no escaping the inevitable so why insist on bending and conforming others to your will. Everything changes in a blink in an eye good intentions formed from bad decisions that make it impossible for anybody to go back. We have been given this insane ability to make it possible to destroy many lives in one fall swoop but just as easily we can turn the other cheek and make it something grand. You can’t chase down love and their is no beating it down you have to let it run wild and be truly set free. I had a chance between falling in love deeply and I chose to run and it is something that has always been holding me back. Knowing that a love like that exists out there though is enough to keep you going even if it’s knowing one day you are bound to have it back. If not in this life time then hopefully the next, I think that is where my spark comes from ensuring that what I feel is real. True love like that I only felt it once with somebody and it has been something that used to hold me back. It held me back from finding somebody until I met my husband then I realized there were many different ways in which it was we as humans can love. Imagine if the love we felt each other and other people all felt the same how boring of a world would this actually be? We are all different energies with different internal powers we can not all be running on the same frequency. When you do finding somebody you can make music with there is nothing quite like it, you would move heaven and earth just to feel it again.

In a world that should be more accepting of who we are and what we have to offer we sure have a lot of work to do behind the scenes. There is still so much that we are unaware of and there is no way we will ever be informed. Think of how the world has come to be thus far. I don’t go out anymore and I rarely see people and even the swimming lessons we have set Schmoo up with are in sizes of 4. My head begins to swell with paranoia if I think of how it used to be for me as a kid and I can’t imagine the world in another 20 or so years. What a weird world we live in now eh? Over self righteous entitlement spilling out in the streets everywhere blanketing a nation with terror and concern. Shooting, stabbings, hazing’s gone wrong, how about a world gone mad and everybody i s standing around just covering their eyes. I do choose to live my life differently because maybe it will keep bad people away. Have they gone mad or is it in fact maybe just me?