I think about the authenticity of others and if they really are who they appear to be. Everybody tries to put on their best face to distract you in the moment until they decide how they want to reveal themselves to you. They may appear genuine in first glance but so does the wolf in sheeps clothes. The wolf doesn’t lose sleep in the presence of sheep. They wait for the weak to appear then they attack relentlessly only backing down to fit back into the pack.

To think that out of all the billions of beings living in this world we are only destined to connect with only a few. Sometimes we are attracted to those that are most like us and other times we are drawn to those unlike us who will teach and guide us in other unforseen ways. The only way of truly knowing if what we seek will benefit us in some ways is to ask ourselves what we see in the other that we are trying to befriend. Do they reflect back onto us what fills us with pride or do they fill us with an insight that makes us feel ashamed inside. Good people don’t need to crush your soul to make you feel alive. Good people grab your hand and bring you along for the ride. They don’t say the words you long to hear or lead you astray. Being honest is what they are known for no matter what all others might say. There are those that are destined to move mountains and others who will try their darndest to destroy. Fresh as the green that moves them their hate seemingly always to be in the way. Move towards the moments that move you and bring you back to who you once were. Away from the corruption of others towards the light and love we all deserve.

Even before we were all put on house arrest I preferred to keep to myself. So many trolls coming out with their opinions that were best left under the bridge. There are so many out there that just want to stand behind your back side and chat. They don’t want to include you but they have a lot to say. Their opinions used to mean something until they filled me with dismay. Growing tired of 40 years of high school behaviour I have become withdrawn from being active community to fully focus on these 4 walls and my family. Yes there has been trouble in paradise but let’s get real. Tropical climates have always proven to be most valuable no matter the destruction that comes its way.

What bothers me about being authentic is the judgemental eyes. The sideway glances and side eyes do nothing to disguise their feelings. Who doesn’t like to admire their own reflection? Perfectly paired outfits with coiffed hair and a winged eye. I think that is what makes me love the vintage era. Without mainstream media and accessibility more time was spent attending to self and family. I wonder how the hours compared in comparison. Today’s generation of leggings and sweat pants ridicules the generation that took the time to care for themselves. Is there a comparison? My Grandmother always dressed like a lady and was presentable for company nowadays most are lazy opting for permanent changes to make it easy. The amount of botox and fillers and even implants. I still can’t believe there is a treatment for filling out your pants. We tend to worship these images of plastercine and rubber. What is wrong with aging gracefully. Wearing your wrinkles as badges of armour instead of hanging your face in shame. Our golden generation is almost out of time and soon to be lost are the ones who are the most beautiful because they know exactly how much life costs. To be withered and grey with a story to share and love on the lips of times soon to be forgotten about in times that no longer exist.

How do we find others that are most like us and genuine with their attentions? It is hard to know who is a friend and who will turn out to be a foe especially in my community. Our personna’s make it so that we have to be a little bit fake. When you try to be larger than life to get the attention of others you have to be loud and you have to be proud. In order to see success you have to become somebody you may not otherwise be. I think that is where I run into problems. I am too head strung and always trying to be authentic. Demanding respect from others or else I cut them off. We have to be that way. Granting others access to ourselves is a priviledge not a right. You shouldn’t have to fear cutting off those that are only out to hurt you. Not everybody was made to get, nothing else can be more obvious. Be true to yourself and the secrets you keep knowing that greatness will find you with true friendships that run deep.

I think about my life and what I could do to live it more honestly. Maybe there is a misconception that comes when gravitating towards those that appear similar to your own image. Like minded individuals sink ships as it takes a diversified minority to accomplish the task at hand. In order to live differently you need to live differently and get involved with the things that matter. Getting involved doesn’t mean you dare to blend in and get forgotton about. Getting involved means you listened to your heart and you dared to follow it’s light. It’s more than becoming the image you think others want to see. It’s daring to be different an enigma for you and me. No good has ever come from conformity. It is only when we dare to live differently that we can make an impact for all to see.