In the growing world of needs and wants it seems very rare that any of us can truly find a way o live happy. The pre conceived notions and words of those around us never fail to bring us to our knees I dislike those who prey on the weak. The ones who need love and support more than the average being because they have been forced down a road of despair that not too many know. It’s in our own image that we muster up the strength only to feel our ultimate weakest as soon as we walk outside that door. When others make some believe that their existence is trivial or below the other we fail to open our heart as a compassionate human would. Why would we all differ so much in our character when our very existence is dependent upon being able to rely on other beings. Living broken is the biggest ironic trait that we all get to experience. We all have experienced that crushing weight of having our hearts linger between this reality and the next trying to find that missing piece that we have always known. In the heat of every passionate moment or the threaten of having passion removed from your grip a sane human is capable of the most insane things.
Reality of what we know has always been lightly encouraged by others to try and get us to believe. They have a lot of stake trying to get us to believe that our value is nothing more than monetary. They give us credit scores and health checks and even go as far to determine our mental state. Drugs are prescribed or unprescribed all to keep the majority of us controlled and maintained. Everybody knows somebody who has been subject to some real terrible things. Those we have entrusted with our care have hurt somebody we love in some of the most grotesque ways. Real human beings were tortured and lost and that shouldn’t take away from their importance in their lives but we make it so. Anytime we turn an eye and try to cover what was real replacing with something fake the energy changes in the room. The good that we have been working so hard towards gets pushed out and ignored. It takes a lot to push a seemingly good person over the edge. Years of being passed over made to feel like it would make no difference if you were here or if you did decided to go. Imagine that feeling as a child. As a teen. We have a child suicide crisis here in Canada. Our children are at risk for substance and sexual abuse and of course bullying from friends and from their peers. The erosion of self esteem is making tour communities take this drastic shift of uncertainty and unknowing. This has always been my fight. My concern has always been for that awkward age group where you don’t feel like you can tell anybody out of fear of being bugged by friends or being laughed at by parents that you don’t have a problem. If there is any insecurity in your heart I understand that feeling. I have been fighting against these demons since I was 13. I was trying to find a way to reach others and I think I have found a way.
My journey in life has made me experience some incredible highs and some even lower lows. I have had eating problems, family problems, substance abuse problems, abusive relationship problems and a long list of prescription medication trying to combat anything else. Uppers and downers everything made me gain weight, I became irritable and more moody and just hated myself to no end. Friends kept on dying so I thought I had the perfect excuse not to grow up. I could drink and do drugs to numb the pain and there was nothing anybody could do or say. I was a lost cause and so many gave up on me. Lingering inside me though was this little girl who was just itching to get out. There is only so long I wanted to feel sorry for myself heightened by a birthing story that makes others cringe I am thankful for the jolt and the reminder that put me back on the right track. At first it was a confusing ride but that was more so caused because of my resistance. There was an outcome in life that I was trying to control but destiny won out that day and once again changed my course. The opportunity that was presented to me was a chance to live and be with my son. The outcome of our story is all the reminder that I need to live my best life. Although confusing for some it makes the most sense to me because it is the closest to my childhood that I have gotten since leaving the farm at 18 that day.
The bad events in my life can now be used as armour to help me help you in accepting the events that have happened in your life but to come to a place where that is not the only definition of you. Some days it feels like we have been dropped off with a pack of wolves waiting to tear us to shreds. I am not waiting to hurt your. I am hear hoping to help. With so many styles of coaches out there I began to think who coaches us on our mental health. Yes we have our counsellors and friends but sometimes just sometimes we do feel a little hesitation when completely reaching out. With so many challenges out there I thought why not do one for our mental health. For 30 days starting on Monday (Apr 19) I will being going live for that Days challenge and then back on the evening to discuss the results. The first challenge is to Do a deep breathing exercise. I thought it would be fun if we did one together to get the day started. Then for the next 29 days we will work through some more activities to see how we feel after all said and done. I am no martyr but I do take pride in my positive attitude in and amongst my anxiety and depression. I just thought if I could be a support for another to get them out of the funk I think I owe it to them and myself to give it my best try. Nobody has more value than anybody else. It is society who has made us believe in that way.