Day 16: Wear Something That Makes You Feel Good

Ah yes the age old standard of wearing something that resembles the character that you are why maintaining some level of comfortability as well. There is a reason why we follow the mass trends of the crowd. We are still a little uncertain and unsure of who it is we want to present ourselves to be so we follow the sea in the hopes that we fit in somehow and therefore having an easier time. An easier time that wouldn’t make sense once you reflect back on your gestures but to you made sense at the time. Have you ever found yourself in a sea of uncertain red lips with nervous twitches and lipstick stained teeth? Their nervous energy spilling over the top much the same way as their bosom pokes through their buttons as their mind is trained to believe that the more womanly you perceive to be the more favourable attention you will attract. That nervous energy is what attracts the ogres your way as they see an easy target to carry away. Best to be confident in your attire than to be second guessing your insecurities all along the way.

My clothing is a direct indication of my mood, or the mood I hope to capture and portray. The way we present ourselves to the world is an art form and we should embrace our individuality for as long as we can portray. Who wants to get lost in a see of similarities when you can dare to breath new life into your day by a meticulous sewn dress our pant suit that was painstakingly designed with love. How can you not love a treasure such as a vintage piece sewn with loving hands? The work that went in, the planning. Breathing new life into a dress that had sat covered in moth balls for who knows how long. I love the joy the fabric brings to my life has it flows and caresses my skin. There is nothing that compares to a dress billowing in the wind on a hot summer day as you absorb all the gifts that nature has to share. We rush around in leggings and t-shirts because we are too busy in our day to indulge in a little bit of self care. Or we convince ourselves that not caring how we look in the mirror is how we declare our love for ourselves. Turn the table. When you see somebody with last night’s make-up and unbrushed hair do they appear very welcoming too you? Would you lend a hand to help them if they needed it? Not to be the Debbie Downer of the group but let me tell you, as a woman if you look anything less than desirable nobody will help you, NO ONE. When I was attacked downtown Vancouver I didn’t awake till the next morning. Please skip over if you are easily triggered. As I woke up disoriented from the GHB cocktail I was served the night before I didn’t notice the blood on my body or the teeth marks on my neck. All I knew was that I was hurting and I wanted to get home. I couldn’t find my car even in the daylight and as I walked carrying my heels I could see the looks of passerby’s like I was a common whore looking for a trick. I was a young girl needing help but what others saw was a junkie. The perception of others can kill us inside and that morning was one of them. For somebody like me who took pride in my appearance I have never felt more shame than morning trying to get home.

What makes me feel good is dressing like a lady in the image of my Grandmother. Of course I don’t want to look like an old lady, not yet anyways but I want to emulate the character that she was. Above all us she was a lady who always played the part. She dotted on her family and was the true focal point and matriarch that we all grew up knowing. Forgive me in my old school thinking but does food taste better when prepared with a smile than it does out of haste and torture? The dance in your step because you love how you feel and all because of what it is you wear. I dare you not to feel amazing in an outfit you love. We all have our favourites that instantly boost up our mood. I try love what I wear everyday because otherwise what truly is the point. I dress for the life I want to live and more to that I dress like it was my last day here on Earth. When I said that to an observer who asked if I always dressed up I replied, “Of course I do Darling because you just never know when you are going to die.” She looked shell shocked by my reply and when I tried to go on further it didn’t seem to help my case at all. Being one that knows what it feels like to be laying on the table with your night clothes in tatters on the floor from doctors shears trying to get at you I reserve the right to always try to look my best. When it becomes your greatest honour to walk among those that are living you want to celebrate the life given to you once more. I could be low on the scale of mediocrity or I can reach for the heavens once again. To be able to live in the image of all those remarkable beings that passed here before us you can’t deny what others have spent their whole lifetimes trying to hide. What if the best thing we could wear would be our smiles, welcoming others to our arms and into our hearts. What if we could be more confident in our demeanor knowing that others feel the same expectations as we do and their is safety in numbers instead of walking all destitute and alone? We are only as strong as our greatest ally who should always these days be unnamed. One being the image that defines you and the other tries desperately to carry on your name. Neither one knowing of the other as we dress to cover our mood instead of dressing to make ourselves feel good rarely can both images be seen in the same room.

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