Truth be told I wish I had more time to pull myself in and think deeply but the way the world is designed it prevents most of us from doing so. Our brains getting pulled every which way as we struggle to make ends meet and fantasize about the past. We don’t want to get to far ahead of ourselves out of fear of what the future may bring. For me I have gotten used to living in a state of being on top of pins and needles constantly worrying about what others might think and even worse the things that they may say. When I begin to allow my thoughts to penetrate my pysche deeply I am always surprised at how far my thoughts can go.

Forgive me if the context gets lost in the words that I am trying to capture. It is hard when you let your thoughts take control of the words that you finding yourself to say. My mind likes to think about the origin of us all. Sometimes it is hard to imagine that ***poof*** out of nothing here we all exist. It is impossible to know our origin or maybe it is just because our minds are incapable of bending that way. Where we came from and how we are derived is the topic of many conversations and is the reason why there is so much blood spilled in our streets. Ask yourself. If we all came from nothing how is it so that we are all dictated by a select few. Why is there so many facts lost in translation and so many deep, dark, secrets hidden by so many of the elite? What is it that makes us unable to see what you do and who in time gave you the power of thinking so. Humans existed far past the traditional Adam and Eve. Did we originate from amoeba’s or something even darker in the weave? Why do some humans kill and others will do anything to save? That speaks for the rise of good and evil coming forth in every man. We have all witnessed horrors and been told of all the ways in which humans have failed but here we are centuries later glorifying the misfortunes of others profiting in every which way we can.

Why are we here? What is the purpose? The Earth was once inhabited, it’s hard to say if there was much more than Sea and Earth. Than all of a sudden out of nowhere men began to walk on the shores and women began giving birth. Did we originate from one and the same or did miraculous beings just take over the Earth. Different cultures suggest the rise just happened suddenly which to me just blows my mind. The colour of our skin directly related to our ancestral origins to the sun, nothing more. To think we ridicule the differences in which each other lives because we are ashamed of our own ignorance. Ashamed of how we treat each other and how we are unable to be kind. Every race that was dominated was done so because of their humanly nature. The methods used to weaken their spirit resonates through all future generations and will keep going far beyond. As a human I am humbled by the lack of passion trying to rectifying the wrongs. If it was your family who suffered you would want justice wouldn’t you? You would want that part of your history acknowledged and maybe just maybe a little bit of sympathy? That is where my mediation usually takes me is trying to have a deeper sense of self. A better understanding of what makes us human and how so many of us when given the chance to show our humility will raise our noses like that is below us. I may live what seems to be a relatively lavish life but I am always humble. I never judge another based on appearance because I know how hard we try to disguise our identity. I know what it feels like to be judged. I know what it feels like to be hate based on how I look. If I am quiet it is because I am shy, my biggest fear is to be hated.

So what’s the alternative. Did we all drop from the sky? Well not we all but them all. The ones who started humans to be civilized, who and where are they? Cavemen tried to write down their life stories. Wouldn’t that mean for as long as we have been alive we have all been trying to tell our stories? To me leaving behind our written legacy serves an ultimate purpose. It could prove or disprove reincarnation at least one would hope to think. The reason why I read is because I am looking for the familiar. Something that triggers me in remembering that I have lived a life before. I am hoping to find a connection to the past and bring it into the future. At least that is what I start to think about if I think for too long deeply. That also brings my search into finding good people. My soul knows that you are out there so I began and continue looking. We make living hard because we are all out of our element. We are disoriented and confused on our existence and stumble all over trying to find a foot hold. I still believe that the closer you become to live your right course the more bountiful life will become. You attract blessings by being a blessing and by putt your best energy forward. People say to just let life be and enjoy the present moment. You can do that and at the same time look for something a bit more comfortable. The present moment is only present in that very moment before it becomes history. There is value in the past, there has to be, if only we knew what to focus on and of course where to look.