Judging Eyes

I wonder if she knows that she just became the woman girls like me warn our children about. Killing them with kindness only applies to the girls on the cheer team, or at least the girls that still fit the cookie cutter mold. I am used to getting judged and believed to be a certain way but it’s worse when you pay to be part of the team to be left out in the cold with my ass hanging out, literally. I am not fair skinned, light eyed or need to shy away from the sun, although that I do. I may pose pictures as a sexy siren but truth be told my knees are knocking and my palms are clammy as opinions like these remind me what is wrong with the world.

I dress the way I do and accentuate my curves because I love taking control of my body and having the confidence to show the world. What the world needs more of is condescending bean poles imposing their opinions on the world. So I stepped back. I looked around at the group of ladies and they were all the same. It made me just a little sad to see this group of ladies promising a team spirit and commraderie to help each other reach the side lines unless you were a voluptious brunette like me. I was the last one chosen for sports and Lord knows we didn’t have a cheer team but we had mean girls, I know mean girls I was just hoping a group full of ladies where you basically pay a membership get pushed out on the cold.

So here I am still excited about a new adventure even if it is a journey I have to embark on to be alone. It wouldn’t be a testament if I truly loved the products if I just turned around and walked away. Imagine how many other ladies were excited about a new product line, coaching and support only to be made to feel like an outsider looking in. We stand outside the showers after gym too scared too look in. My tummy has never been flat no matter how much I starve or how many sit ups I would do. My thighs will always jiggle and dimple and my skin will go a golden shade once warmed from the sun. Even paying to fit in I can’t and now I have nowhere to go.

At first I wanted to save some money for my family then I got this idea in my head. What if I tried and truly loved the products then all I would have to do was tell everybody and the product value would just shine through. Could I possible produce an income to prove to my husband that I am not worthless that I have value too? This experience is not what I was hoping and after I begged my husband for the money to start up. Lucky for the girl who enrolled me, that it was she that caught my eye but she made one big mistake never judge by the outside exterior, you will end up watching the whole world pass you by.

You know what lie I am tired of? The one where we blame our children for our mistakes. The one we try to tell ourselves that don’t clearly outline our hate. Oh no I didn’t delete, block or unfriend you it must have been my son. In the 3.5 years of my son opening Instagram this has never happened to me. Now all of a sudden I post a pic with my ass bidding adieu to the weekend and it was your son that took offense? This is what stops the REAL women from joining the ranks of financial freedom because we don’t want to be ridiculed. That ALL women who identify as such have the right to join to learn and celebrate our differences and even learn a little money too. I am tired of judgemental eyes suppressing me, suppressing you, preventing all that we were hoping to be. If you love make-up, if you love skin care, if you love celebrating everything you are and going to be I want to hear from you. I have been going live on instagram at Sweet Ruby Bluez, hopefully daily come join me and give me a nudge. Let’s build a community.

I chose to join LimeLife because I believe it to be the best choice for me. I am committed to the process and even will challenge myself in doing so. When my kit arrives we can open it together and pack up the rest of my make up and tuck it away (after the 6 months is up I will throw it). My committment to myself and the process is 6 months. I believe in it that much. I sure am nervous about the lack of brows and lashes but I can order those first. To be honest I already have an extensive list. Aren’t you curious to see potentially what I add next to get glamourized? Trust me I am not that gal to sit here making promises over the fountain of youth and bonbons. What you see is what you get and what you get from me is undivided loving attention away from prying eyes and ridicule from the Stepford wives of yesteryear and all the preconceived notions they still hold. Of course not all but all it takes is just one to demolish all the hard work of the women before. You don’t know the strength it takes for some of us to reach out especially if we have been bitten one too many times. I don’t bite, (ok maybe just a little) I am more concerned with the feelings being harboured and if I can help you release some of the weight. Your life is not the burden, what others made you believe is. Believe in yourself again and you will see the simplistic beauty in the world.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Love Alone says:

    Reblogged this on Love and Love Alone.

    Like

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