Believe in yourself because no one else will. Well nobody can authentically believe in you the way that you potentially can. What does it mean to be happy and is that really something obtainable to all or do we live blind fearing or potential to walk forward never leaving anything behind. We can’t evolve if we hold back and holding back no longer sustains us. I have been a certain way throughout the years, as have we all, but have we truly learned anything from the journey or are we still stuck in the mud? What have you done to live your life differently or are you just following idly along?

Times are tough and change is impossible with our government controlling all the strings. No possibility of career changes, social gatherings or other stimulating neighborhood activities just a strong loathing of self. A time to self reflect on your identity and other pressing mental health triggers. Honestly though you hear the faint whisper, what have you done to improve on yourself. I threw myself into what I loved in the hopes of finding like minded minds. What I learned that although I loved dressing up it was empowering those around me to live their best life that warmed my heart the most. Entering on-line Pin-Up contests was empowering, somewhat, but it ended up taking more from me than I was willing. I got outed and shamed, wagged fingers at and blamed being told I was furthest from Pin-Up at all. I didn’t need the reminder of how awful social media can be when I won my first ever Queen title in 2018. Miss Sweetcheeks in all her old, fat glamour at the hands of a bunch of on-line trolls evolved into Sweet Ruby Bluez. Even before all this began to happen I could feel the discontent coming I had no idea what lay waiting behind that closed door.

It was alot to take in as it started to pour and I tried my best to remain calm. People came in and out doing as they do and I just sat back and took it all in. I still dressed up and co-ordinated outfits tending to my house and caring for my family because do what you love as often as you can. Right now in this time they are all I need as they teach me a different outlook on life. When an animal loves you unconditionally during all hours of the day you know you have done right with the world. Then all my plants that I started from seed bringing fruits and vegetables to life truly proves that magic exists somewhere don’t you think? With the right time, love and nourishment we all have potential and that is great. Believe in yourself like none other and you will be rewarded by your comittment and faith.

What do I know really, how could I have possibly been on the down and out. Just some 38 year old sleeping on the basement floor going back to school living pay check to pay check. I had two jobs and had taken out a student loan and then I found somebody more broken then me. I know I am unloveable that was my curse from being a teen but my husband has just been unlucky in love more so than me. I chose not to settle down. My standards were too high but he, he got handed all the nastiness and more. One of his girlfriends cheated on him with her manager in order to get fake boobs. Had no problem lying and betraying my husband getting spoiled by two men like cheating on somebody just makes me sick. There are troubles in our marriage and I always tell my husband to watch out. If things don’t improve I will eventually need a change, fingers crossed my new business takes off (https://www.limelifebyalcone.com/sweetrubybluez/home, please, please take a look). Hence just another way I have to once again believe in myself. Can you believe in a few short days I am getting rid of all my designer brands and only using LimeLife! Eeekkk me either. I went for the Bronze kit, the most bang for your buck. I am going to unveil the kit live on my Instagram: Sweet Ruby Bluez and then for 6 months add products I need to be glammed up and just see if I can be successful in being loyal. Could you imagine the possibilities if it takes off and I grow an empowering community of women like me? You have to believe in something right? Start somewhere. What better place than me.

My journey is I want to be as authentic and real as possible. That there is transparency in the distance between you and me that can either be lit up or fall under darkness depending on the values and character attached. You will feel what I mean when it resonates through you. There is no purer feeling than travelling among like minds that finally get you and understand. There is isolation in the not knowing what the future might hold but I find that I find comfort being in the eye of the storm. I am fierce if I want to be and meek when I hide. I also found a lot of confidence when I began to open my eyes. So what if I fail at least I had the chance. So many others would relish the opportunity before they danced their last dance. Life and living and being happy while we can is something we lost control off it seems almost forever ago. I remember when it started to happen when invisible strings began to tie us to the world. Leaving these footprints that allowed others to track us and rob us of our identity. We hate everything that is different, colourful and dares to stand out. That’s why I embrace who I am and do what I do trying to encourage others to live their lives the same. Not in the mirror image of what I do but in the free spirit of childlike wonder and amazement, like we all used to do.