Good morning. The time to recharge and refresh the mind and see what has made their way to you from the night before. The stale hopes of promises of the day before trickling in to our timeline begging to not be ignored. I always like to peruse my inboxes to see what sort of information has made it’s way to me and I am always surprised at what I may find. This morning is not one to disappoint as I am welcomed by an unsolicited dic pick from all sorts of angles. I know who they are from as he asked me days before if I wanted to see and I politely declined. What is the point of asking me if you were just going to send them anyways. Maybe I wouldn’t be so overly annoyed except for their was no thought process made when taking this many pictures from all sorts of angles trying to entice me to ride. What I noticed in this outward display of his anatomy if this is his most prized possession why didn’t he take more time and care in his photography skills. The lighting seems off and I am not sure if I doctor is required but I am 99% certain these weren’t taken with more than a wayward thought after a trip to the loo.

Honestly men this is the all that you got. You know you can contour and highlight and maybe work with the light. The newest trend it seems is the dic video. Show us what you are working with and stop squishing your balls to make your flaccid junk like bigger. It is those shots that are caught in the moment that seem to get the most attention. Fresh out of the shower, maybe in an unexpected place, try to show an accurate representation of what we could be working so we can let our imagination and mind come to life. That is part of the fun, not always having it on display. I think of a woman splayed with her lips showing and depending on the woman not always that attractive. A lot of it is the anticipation of what can be laying underneath and not so much what is we can see. When I take pictures I want to be seen as a work of art on display activating your senses and not just an object that I have been seen as my whole life. I know it seems so strange but that is how my life has always been. I have always just been this object on display not worthy of investing any more time or affection. I take the time to accentuate what I perceive to be my best features so why can’t I man do something of the same.

The fresh out of the shower look is believed to be the most appealing. A little left to the imagination with the steam and moisture hiding just enough and let our imagination begin to play. We are sensual beings meant to be enticed and captivated by our feelings becoming a slave at times for the more primitive feelings that at times we are unable to control. Trust me it takes a lot to appease me preferring to make my conclusions after just one touch. If our fingertips touching doesn’t electrify me then I must admit there must be a different. When you master how to reduce one to jelly from the movement of your hands you don’t succumb to every will and intention brought on to man. You wait for the feelings that ignite you reducing you to putty in another man’s hands. The unsolicited dic picture is nothing more than the mad streaker in Central Park. Nobody pays any attention and eventually he will get hauled off to streak another day. Maybe it is me that is overly sensitized preferring to ignite all my senses instead of just one. Oh the depravity, how I long for a partner and not just a being to have so I fit in.

Now this unsolicited dic picture which was supposed to light my fire has me seething with regret. Would I do it all over again if given the chance. Not the opening of the picture who cares about that. The quality was poor and it was nothing I haven’t seen before nothing out of the ordinary even caught my eye. What I feel now in this moment is I wonder what it would feel like to be loved and wanted by a partner who admires the woman I portray to the world. My senses are dulled by this experience of marriage in more ways than one. Without this disaster of a marriage I wouldn’t have all that I have. Can you exist without a companion somebody to listen to all your prayers. I know that my son is the piece of me that I have always been missing. The longing in my heart when the loneliness of night falls onto me. I never wanted to live alone in the way that I do now. I wanted a partner to hold me when I no longer knew how to hold myself. There are days and times when I need comfort the most and I have to search for it. I have to cry into the fur of my felines hoping that they can absorb it. The pain of isolation I feel when I realize that I run the risk of never being held lovingly again almost kills me. If I don’t find a way to overcome this the loss will be far too many. The life we have built will crash down around us and so many happy will now come displaced. Those pictures, although unsolicited now serve a time and place. They serve as a reminder that we all need a loving embrace. Whatever attention they hoped to achieve has fallen lost onto me. It is not sex that I am looking for but a loving companion, a mate that will one day find me, will come to me unsolicited and oh so organically.