The main problem with micro-dosing is others preconceived notions about what a daily consumption of psilocybin actually means. It’s not an excuse to take a daily psychedelic to escape the realities of life. No for some it is a means to make life better in ways some will never truly understand. To have your brain wired in such a way that it expects the worst to happen it takes more than a doctor prescribed chemical to fix what ails you, in fact it comes from nature with it true intentions only to heal. Of course when taken in more than recommended doses it can warp the brain and distort the thinking but wouldn’t that almost prove my statement that if it can alter the mind in a negative way why can’t it also do the opposite? There is so much trauma that finds us in our day to day; rape, abuse, violence, poverty, abandonment, addiction death. The list is gigantic because big business made us this way. I am reading a book about The Greeks because I can’t understand what happened to that culture. Even the cities and countries they speak of is like they all disappeared which doesn’t make sense if it all actually happened. What made us decide that it made more sense to consume a chemical to sustain us instead of actually having the real thing. I understand preservatives and shelf life but what made us what to go beyond what nature could provide for us and create something out of this world. Is it because we wanted to travel out of this world so we needed to create food for them to survive? It truly does seem like there was a time when nature did provide.

The thought also occurs to me when there will be a time when all that are alive have forgotten me in fact most will never know that I was alive. Everything I touched will one day be gone. Lip stains, finger prints, heart breaks and dreams all gone like I was never here. Time is only increasing it seems and the pain is still along for the ride. My brain tries to remember everything and I am constantly replaying events, feelings, friends. It’s almost like a found a safe heaven, in my own mind, some peace and some content. I have been on and off anti depressants since I was 19 and I am now 42. This time being the longest bout because of the PTSD. Wherever my mind took me right before my son was born is a place I try to get back too. Albert Hoffmann, the Swiss Chemist who founded LSD, microdosed in the last few decades of his life and he lived to be 102. I like when I get a confirmation with what I am experiencing with somebody else who lived a successful life. Kind of how Dita transformed the way I looked at myself and now with Hoffman saying it’s ok to open your mind and dare yourself to look at living a different way. Think of everything we were told to do. At least my generation. Go to bed at 9, be home for dinner, clean up after yourself. What I have noticed is there is no such thing as bed time with the 9 to 5 out the window. Life is chaotic. No wonder why children don’t understand. What the hell is going on here where we have no choice but to go completely insane. Of course suicide rates and overdoses are going up through the roof. We have nobody to talk to because we are so embarrassed about telling others we have failed. You can’t jump into somebody else’s mind and know exactly what they are feeling but we assume we know, we feed our own securities for no reason at all because somewhere, somehow we filled ourselves with self doubt.

I am on a 300 mg dose of Effexor to deal with all the mental ailments. I say all because who can rightfully determine what was the cause of this misinformation. That is all our thoughts are. Bad information being told to ourselves over and over again on repeat. That is why we believe it and that is why it is so toxic because once rooted it is almost possible to get out. Who do we hurt if we live in a world that sustains us? Only big business that is who. I have experimented with micro dosing before but nothing has actually had much of a therapeutic effect of the one I have found now. Maybe it is because I have just finished the 30 day Mental Health Challenge or maybe my mind is just open to all that is happening around me. Life is not forgiving and neither are people who do I care who I annoy along the way. Could it be any worse than where I find myself out currently, I mean I am 99% certain my husband just hates me I have never felt more like a fly on a wall than I have when I have been living with him yet somehow I couldn’t be happier? It’s almost like I understand why I am where I am in this moment so I am doing my best to appreciate this part of my journey too. It’s ok if it doesn’t make sense it doesn’t always too me but for the first time in a long time I do feel pride in each day. Which is also weird because I have associated happiness with my mask of make-up and to be honest I hate the way my natural skin appears in pictures. I have done what I have said and tossed my make-up in the bin and have committed myself to only wearing LimeLife in the process for 6 months. My hope is that more will follow me in the journey to purging our old skin care and make up and commit to loving ourselves first for 6 months.

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My skin feels clean and not just because I am no longer clogging up my pores lol What do you have to lose really? Better skin? More Money? Maybe me and a team of others as your best friend? At the end of 6 months the borders should be open again so let’s say a weekend in Cabos to celebrate y’all. Here’s my site if you needed any skin-care and make-up and remember you can always find me if you have any questions or want to be a part of my team! https://www.limelifebyalcone.com/sweetrubybluez/home

We have to start enjoying our journey and anything we can do to correct our course. Bad storms do happen and we can weather on thru them but we have to be humble when we ask for some repairs and support. Not all will understand us and that is ok to leave them somewhere waiting in our dust.