How authentic are we? Truly? Yes we all believe we know our significant other or bestie inside out but do we truly? Honestly? What are you holding back from telling others out of being met with disgust? Isn’t there something that we are holding back that would cripple us if others find out? Our mental state of mind? How truly happy we really are or how we secretly have a crush on their neighbour or best mate. We don’t trust anybody with all of our secrets, that even includes ourselves. My mom always told me my worst characteristic was that I wore my heart on my sleeve and there should be some secrets that you hold back. Try to explain to a potential life partner that you were once a Financial Planner than you declared bankruptcy, your validity of an honest person already starting to crack. Trust me when it was all started to happen I was incredibly depressed. Be it the new city, new surroundings, first time truly being alone it was all too much. There are those that will tell you that Vancouver does that to a person. It turns a seemingly happy person and turns them into a person they don’t even know. Yet another thing my mother kept telling me, “Get out of that city it is killing you, it has never done you any good.” So would I tell a friend that I admire and respect that I was really struggling with my identity and I was even living pay check to pay check. Living in a new city it was easy to paint over who I was truly. Case and point my flair for the extravagant lifestyle, was that who I really was?

Maybe I am confused or deranged or delusional after all. So much has happened over the years that I am not sure if this is even real. I always thought that I was destined to change the world and I thought entering all those pageants would be the way. Meet all these people authentically by putting yourself out there, making a real connection after all. The problem with those immediate connections is that they are usually more superficial and shallow because there is no time for substance, not normally. Usually you read the mood and energy of the company you find yourself and play a character in their rouse. Sure you fit in for the time being but what happens when you truly need a friend? I don’t know why it bothered me so much when it happened to me I saw it coming from miles away. You can always trust your first read on the energy in the room and it is ok not to hold back. Of course don’t be rude because we are ladies just be cordial, smile and walk away. This life is meant for all to live in so if you can’t come out and play at least be nice. Maybe that is were my obsession with transforming my beauty came in. It made me something more mainstream than me. Of course it was a piece of me but what didn’t belong was the misguided feelings of others when there words were designed to hurt. There is nothing beautiful about women turning on another as they seek out their revenge. There are always three sides to ever story. My truth, your truth and what actually happened. When there is such a far divide between the two it is best to move on and stop disrupting the room. Nobody needs a girlfriend who turns every waking moment into a drama emergency for them.

So how do you define yourself truly and do you lead with that with pride? There is no sense in trying to form a connection when you leave too many skeletons to find. We shouldn’t be ashamed of the events that happened because those moments helped and are helping define who it is we are to become. I want real connections in my life, not fake and phonies why should I cheer for you when you never come outside. I will always unfollow those who chose to unfollow me. I never understood why we have to go in manually it should be automatic. If somebody has made the effort remove you from their feed do the same. There is no sense holding on to something that the other person is moving on from and wants to forget. Sometimes if it is somebody I have known for awhile like a childhood friend or family member I will usually block and remove from my life permanently. I don’t care if some of my posts and pictures are outlandish and forward that is who I am and what I have chosen to share in public. If you don’t support the dreams that I display than trust me when I say this you are just a speed bump in my way. I say speed bump because it hurts like a band-aid that is first removed. Is it something I have done? Of course it is they know you they were easily offended and they removed you. Now do the same and move on. Some people are just in the way taking all your good energy and manifesting no good. It is ok to move forward neither of you are the person you once were. I think about people a lot and what they have meant to me. Some people I reach out for and some others I let fade away. I never have been one to push myself onto others I just have a calm, quiet, pride. I know I was destined for greatness and I am open to taking on others to enjoy the ride. Connections make the dream work so I will just keep no reaching.

My vision is very simple. Pay yourself first, than pay some of it forward and build a community and build a team. I was tired of reaching nowhere. I needed to put it all into place. Where can you go in a company that will let you reach for the stars? I mean push yourself when you are feeling it and sleep in when you are not? It is all there right at your fingertips you get out what you put in. I know I have intertwined my excitement almost into the last few says of blogs I have written. I guess because for me it is all just so simple. Wash my face. Get paid. Moisturize my face. Get paid. Build a team. Help somebody else reach their goal and get paid. There is no hidden tricks. No secrets for us to find. Just a sisterhood of beauty and make-up where we get paid along the way. I am tired of funding somebody else’s dreams, children’s braces or even tuition. I can do it all myself and I can do it all by looking good. That’s what made it simple by committing to myself for only 6 months. I know I am worth it and I know you are worth it we all have a dream we are working towards and we all deserve to be surrounded by love and happiness while being our true authentic self.