My Truth

I figured out my place now, at least I think. Why should I carry the shame of what was done to you as it wasn’t done at my hand. Please let me kneel down before you and say how truly sorry that I am that this was all done to you. No disrespect. No impeding in your space at all in fact I want to honour you. I know I can’t instantly snap my fingers and make it all better. We were all lied to at one time. But the lies told to me gave you a future and the ones told to you were just a game. I can’t imagine your heartbreak lived over and over again first from reliving the horrors done onto your ancestors and what others allowed to happen to you as they took you away. I was raped in my parents house but never like this. One time almost ruined my future but I had lots of choices how do I help you heal? What can I even do?

Now the only thing I can think of to help in any sort of way is to first honour your stories then change everything I can change. I went to write my Indigenous friends to say sorry for what is happening can you recommend some Indigenous driven businesses. No matter the words I used nothing sounded right. I took a deep breath and honour her grief, her power and existence and take a look for a sign what to do. When you open your eyes to your surroundings I found a WHOLE community of Indigenous prepared goods that are made to honour their ancestors, there is nothing more grounding or spirutal then that. Close your eyes and recreate the way the story should go begin to write what should have happened and do everything in your power to see to it.

When I close my eyes to set sail to a promise of a new country I do so with pure intentions. As I begin to see the shore I see a being welcoming me as their written legend had foretold. Although we have trouble communicating we are intrigued by our differences but also captivated by our similarities. Instead of destroying their land and killing their communities they welcome me into theirs and we teach each other our languages. We should have been hunters, forages, lovers of the land but now we are these lifeless zombies sucking at the teat of corporate America and every bigoted man. Imagine what it would feel like if your rapist had a statue or art work to be immobilized forever! Even the pictures in the media turn my stomach because we now know what the priest did to them.

What can I do I am only one person. You can start changing your habits, your indulgences, your spending. It is not only about getting your Skincare and Makeup from me. It is about getting some of your products that are lovingly prepared. You can get your soap, your bath bombs, salves, art, clothing, jewelry from our Indigenous communities. Are you truly sorry, disgusted and horrified? Stop making their torturers richer and empower these businesses in the way they should have been along. Corporate America never should have existed. We eliminated species of animals just so we could get richer. Not only that, beautiful children were made to believe that they didn’t have souls. The defense of it wasn’t me I didn’t do it doesn’t fly. Preventing these families from knowing makes you just as guilty as you did. If you don’t believe that what was done was right unseal the records and let these children get the acknowledgement they deserve! When given the choice one should always lean towards expunging the truth in order to ensure that their souls fly free. I am opening my eyes and my heart to learn as much as I can about this beautiful culture. I know there is no way I can raise them up to their former glory but I sure as hell can try. Modernization did nothing for the human mind but destroy us. This is going to sound really judgy but it seems like every white man had Nazi characteristics. It always amazes me when somebody from today’s times flies a Nazi flag and we all turn a blind eye. We fail to recognize that flying that flag of hate is very jarring for our survivors who were made to suffer and endure throughout that time. There is always survivors after the dust settles because we need their stories of truth to try and rectify time.

Now we might think that these moments in time have nothing to do with us but we can be the part of the story where we allow our fellow man to heal. Is that who are defined to be? And can I define myself to be anything but? It’s like we had one task when we were granted these bodies when we came to Earth. Well maybe a few but on a grander scale life was meant to be loved and lived with those people that we enjoy. Harvesting, foraging, hunting for food are all intrinsic pieces of the puzzle that we failed to honour and have spent our lifetimes trying to ignore. There is nothing more bonding or grounding then taking to the woods to look for berries and mushrooms. Some of the most beautiful things I have had the pleasure to have laid eyes on have come in these moments alone in the woods. I think it is humorous when we say beware of the wildlife as they will attack. Of course they will attack we all have seen Bambi and we know how this story ends. Somewhere along the way we stopped killing for necessity and started killing for fun. I know I am treading on sacred ground but my intentions are pure and I just want to honour my real forefathers that were here before me. I can say I am sorry until I am blue in the face and how embarassed I am but until I am able to wade out in the sh*t that man created and lovingly hold out my hand I am just as guilty as them. Anyone who takes home a profit from the land we had stolen I wag my fingers at in shame. Looking around at this concrete jungle and the homes that we have stolen that extend farther from the inhabitants they met at the shore. We drove out the animals endangered all wildlife and species, even put a price tag on water and laugh when other humans live in filth and feces. I want to support as many products and brands with Indigenous roots. I think that it is my duty as a human to return back to the Earth. What we do to ensure that we live wealthy and obtain a profit turns my stomach and makes me sick. But I am in control of my spending and what I do with it. I am in control the books I read and the news that I am going to indulge in. I can e-mail my MP and keep current with all events that affect this culture that so many chose to ignore. My voice is small but it sure is hell ain’t weak. I am tired of what people keep doing to each other in this pass a buck mentality. In some ways I am scared to use my voice and stand in solidarity. Will they find my stance offensive or will I be looked upon as charity. When you full on run blindly into who we should have been nothing becomes more clearer. As my boat pulls up to the shore I am greeted with real smiles and real friends because they know I came in peace and not to steal everything I can. We need our Indigenous Culture more than ever now to help heal this tragedy we call land. The forgiveness we seek and that Mother Nature needs is to honour what we have done to all in the past. An inmate doesn’t get paroled of their crimes until they admit their guilt and I think Canada should consider doing the same.

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