Betrayed

Why are so many deceiving in their ways? Their portrayal of self on a minor reflection of who they truly are and the rest is just some other character valiantly on display. I love good energy. I thrive on good energy I love the magical promise that we can each bring to life but are stopped by others deceiving attitudes and wanton ways.

My faerie wings I fell in love with since I first laid eyes on them. I remember thinking of all the magic I could bring to life with just one pair. Over time I developed what I thought was a real friendship but just like every retail purchase it is like the seller will say everything in the right way. I wore them everyday and kept asking if I should take care of them in a special way. No she insisted as the bottom wings crumbled off and fell in my hands as I was filming a video. The look of sheer heart break was captured on film as I tried to forget what just happened and how I was going to process it.

From the moment they were broken she immediately scolded me. Telling me to send them back like I was a small child incapable of such nice things. She forbid me from sharing what happened saying they were “galvanized” steel and if they were broken then that was entirely on me. She pretty much demanded I send them back and she gave me no guarantee that they would ever be fixed. I opted to use gorilla and hot glue (gorilla glue was the hottest topic back than) and made it so my wings would never fly.

Over the months I rarely used them as it just broke my heart to see them constantly pointing down. One day I awoke to a lengthy letter about my “marijuana” use. I could tell she was not really a true friend and had grown tired of how I never used her wings anymore. Her words and mannerisms were cold and hurtful as she weighed down her heavy opinion on me. Throughout it all she had the nerve to ask why I hadn’t used any of her head pieces in any of my Mer pictures. In my mind I was like it was always about what others could do for you wasn’t it? Never about the mental health or the childhood abuse they endured just the way that you see things. That people who struggle on the day to day to be happy aren’t worthy of daily doses of magic. If there is anything that I find annoying is those that unfollow you without giving you the courtesy of doing the same. The try to slip on past you like fools stealing gold in the night. No, no, no please prepare an exit speech on the way out I want to know what it is that you have to say. How is me gravitating towards my most authentic life free of prescriptions in a Cannabis legal country offensive to you? Go ahead I will wait.

I unfollow people who unfollow me. Wouldn’t you know that there is an app for that. So when I see that she has exited without saying goodbye I send one last message to say adios. My message was that I was sorry to see her go and that I will finally retire her wings like I should have done when they had broken long ago. Her reply is kind of funny. Oh no don’t do that. In my mind I was like nah it would be incredibly rude not to be able to tag a friend. Now my back is in knots. Super strange all things considering. Right where the wings would normally sit. I just hate the people who expect to have fans for nothing. Just get over yourself and move along. That’s all it takes.

Nobody cares more than the person sitting around doing nothing at home that has nothing. Bonus points if they still live at home with their parents. With nothing to do all day but b*tch and complain they are bound to find problems wherever they can. These people are the worst and they usually come in large numbers. They say the unemployment rate is climbing faster than we have ever known. I think my favourite line out there is if you have a problem with me say it. Uhmmm I already HAD a problem with you. I voiced that concern and you were oblivious to when it was happening so why do I need to beg you to come around? Every dog has their day and boy do they lie. Stick to an honest existence my friends and nothing gets said. Well things get said and it is funny when it happens. There is no anger like somebody who is butt hurt.

Enter dick pic guy from yesterday. How about you make a grand exit 5 days after you get kicked out. I have always remained very open to the possibility of maybe finding a Knight in this mess even though it is slime to non existent. Maybe when Schmoo is 18. Enter Joe Blow average who is insisting he has just shown up to talk and maybe become friends. Against my better judgement I am always intrigued on how it is people have found themselves in my space. Especially now that I started over, I am very, very hesitant to add on people that I don’t even know and what happened with this guy is the reason why. He started making advances because in his mind he got it twisted that the pictures I took on the regular were somehow intended for him. After I told him that I was unsure how to respond to his consistent sexual advances I unfriended him, he called me a douche, so I blocked him. Game over right? True loss here is the amount of days. I can’t believe it took 4 maybe 5 days before this guy became unhinged.

He started posting doctored screenshots of conversations we had with captions telling guys to be warned because I am bi-polar. Haha no no men be warned I am married and I have no plans on cheating on my family not now or ever. Conversations may head in that direction but let’s be real I am not that one. There is no time for me to slip away. Especially to California. This guy was a mess writing captions on all my posts from a fake account he created no tell me how bi-polar is that. I love guys who try to slander a girl this time you all things considering she has never given an F what other people have to say. I never engage in any activity I can’t own up to. I am way to old in life for that much drama. I just tell my husband and whoever else is listening exactly just how I feel.

My husband should be understanding that there is only so long before a human does move on after being ignored all these years. It’s not like I don’t tell him. I just think it is funny that a man can go insane over somebody they were just starting to get to know. I am not looking to get laid or have any sort of one night stand. I just want to finally be accepted for all the things that I am.

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