I imagine my life a lot differently. It’s terrifying to walk out on the edge and stare into the abyss and wonder just what if I lived my life a little differently? What if I dared to try to live my life without conventional mainstream purpose but came to accept my place in nature and in life as I come to find?
Telling me being a vegetarian is annoying and inconvenient to excuse buying McDonald’s everyday is just making me insane. My son and I always enjoy our pasta, salad and veggies so it is impossible to be just me. I know. I got yelled at last night for some dirt on the counter from a cat knocking over my plant. This is where I eat he exclaimed as I stare at his crusty socks on my counter. In the middle of the counter right below his god damn shoes. But I can’t say anything can I. His house so his rules.
I don’t know what type of human could want to hurt another being in this way. to take another to the brink of extinction while having your perverse fantasies filled along the way. To look into the eyes of children and want to steal the light from their eyes. As a child our parents are…
Did you know that approximately 80 % of premature aging is caused by the sun? That warm golden globe promising us life as it carefully speeds up the hands of father time. We all know that there are certain activities that some engage in that will increase the affects of the sun. Some of these external factors would include UV exposure, sunlamps, environmental exposure, environment, poor skin care maintenance, misuse of products, allergies and reactions and photo sensitivity.
My husband always tells me I can’t change the world. That may be true but I refuse to remain complacent in it. It is so easy to just take a deep breath and walk away. I could. I am not directly connected to all this. My mom and dad were always safe in their childhood and I believe they had no knowledge of what was happening in residential schools. When a whole country is left oblivious to the level of genocide that the powers of be committed it is up to us to pick up the moral pieces and find a way to heal.
When I first got married I was so excited for all the home packed work lunches complete with love notes, a clean house, dinner on the table and snuggles and kisses before bed. I haven’t been hugged (well side hugs not included) since our wedding day. And the last kiss I remember feeling would fall into about the same. I miss laughing with someone and sharing a smile or too. I wish for a miracle but I know that is just moo. Not in my reality not even for a day. For now I will just keep on keeping to myself I truly have nothing more to say.
So am I Pin-Up? Heartbreakingly I will have to now say no. Those I thought had the best intentions for the world had fallen from grace in my eyes. I used to adore and admire their positive ways but fell out of love with them for obvious reasons. When you hold the public’s eye captive for even a moment you have a responsibility to live differently.
There is so much more to the world problems and it is a constant display of their perverse entitlement when the words of enlightenment are always followed by, “as instructed by the Queen’s bench.” With the allegations of the Monarch and their blatant disregard for any being with even an ounce of melanin one can easily believe that it was she that ordered the execution of all the Indigenous here on KKKanada’s soil. You throw away your grandchild because of “mixed blood” so I will never believe that you value the life of anything that is not connected to your blood line.
Our lives are intertwined and then we become nothing for no reason? No something is at work much deeper here and it sucks all the more because I can feel it. Every fiber of my being begins to stand on edge and take notice. Are we as a race that heartless? is the almighty dollar really that more important? Than human life and love and freedom and laughter. We snuff it all without caring. We do it all without thinking. We don’t care who that somebody is that we are squashing underneath our feet. As long as it is not somebody we care about right? but what about if it were me?
My husband says I am too gullible and I fall too easily listening to other people’s tales. He tells me I care too much about our Indigenous communities and that I watch too much true crime. What happens to my soul when the two World’s intertwine? To RoyLynn and Marlene I will find a way to start making things right. You are still Warriors out there just for now you are out of site.