I Don’t Give a Damn

There is a reason they say never trust a woman scorned. There is no telling how far a lady pissed off can actually go. It is more than being pissed off. An over entitled woman will stop at nothing to destroy another fellow sister. I have 42 years of experience to attest to that. Sometimes I have been the player on the other side of the fence. There is only so much one can take before you decide to seek out revenge, just a little bit to even out the tide. Women tend to forget that we are all struggling to try and find the silver lining. Just some women out there are mad looters and once they get what they were seeking they will be nowhere to be found.

Case and point my high school best (?) friend. Every guy I had a crush on she would say I was doing that to hurt her. I mean she would have no idea who it is that I was crushing on and by lunch time once she found out she was like, “You better not tell anybody else you like him or I will kick your ass. I saw him first.” I think that is why I gravitated towards the guy who wasn’t in high school. Get me out of this incestuous filth pool of obsessive betrayal. My whole friendship with her was like that. Almost like she was trying to get back at me for others thinking I was pretty. I never felt beautiful. I was never confident in my own skin. I was the girl trembling in the back of the classroom because I didn’t want anybody to notice me. I kept my head down and tried to get to class and when the tension got to much for me my boyfriend was always a phone call away.

Girls are so over jealous of another’s confidence that they will shun her in the company of others. I assure you it took my whole life time to feel comfortable in my skin and it takes 30 seconds for another female to try and rip me to shreds. Exposing my skin to the elements doesn’t make me a slut. It makes me a human being content with my place in this Earth and wanting to feel as connected to Mother Nature as I can. It isn’t a display of my curves or how soft my skin has become because of how I lovingly care for myself. I watch the stream of followers fall away by multiples of 10. No joke. It seems women hate a confident woman so they block her so they don’t have to see. If I would have known sooner that this was all it took I would have done it sooner. We are all so scared of what we look like without clothes, the clothes that was made by an over entitled man. The life we live is so humorous to me. We are always jealous. ALWAYS jealous instead of trying to tap into each other’s energy. My nudity doesn’t mean I am going to cheat on my husband, or even stealing yours. It means I am free from the binds of modern man because I don’t need their standard ways of defining me. If you can’t see past the happy, confident woman that I am there’s the door. My life is for my amusement not yours however, I want to encourage as many people to live empowered as they can.

Why do some pretend to be so easily offended or worse yet “triggered”. I am not going to hold any more shame or feel weak at what other’s keep unloading on me. I was raped as a child. I did not give my consent. Then there were nights at parties where I consumed to much only to be woke up to some random being on top of me. Then there was the time that I was roofied downtown. We all have these stories. Some more than others. Every time that I was sexualized because of the way I dressed and that I was too shy to speak up. From the very first time I was assaulted I was told it will always be my word against theirs. That their attorney will always paint you in the worst light digging up any history they can and using it against you. Every time I try to express myself and take control of my identity back from my attacker another women enters the picture and says, “Whoah look at that slut.” These identifiers that we use are our own insecurities coming into play. We try to place that burden onto others because every dog has their day. Real women don’t call out others especially degrading names. We are all daughters of somebody shouldn’t that stand for something?

The best saying I can think of these days is “I have been sent here to make a whole lot of people very uncomfortable” so that is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to push every boundary within my limits because frankly darling I don’t give a damn and neither honey should you. People will always hate and no matter who you are green will always be their favourite shade. Envy serves no purpose in this life except to derail the honest intentions of all those that pass. Friends are almost impossible to come by and honest ones are a thing of the past. There are those that want to use you, break you, kill you because they can’t move past their own jealous side. It is easier for you to be canceled or gone. Fading just like an enigma into the summer tempest sky. Sure it hurts when the validity of another’s intentions has been exposed and laid out on display. You don’t get far from trampling on others though, our friend karma stays in the wings. A rash of bad luck will always follow a human capable of bad things.

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