Find your purpose and evolve with it what is the sense in changing who you are completely? So many out there are trying to conform to another being’s ideology without ever questioning how it is they came into being. Being blindly led or is it that we are just dumb to willingly buy into what everybody is saying without questioning it all. Think of those that have came to destroy you and those that do the most damage when they do. They are the Trojan Horses of our existence they are the ones that can blow a hole in our existence to Kalamazoo!
We all have friends or are they acquaintances? Truth be told I think I will never know. It is so simple to take a gander inside of your friends life and see what makes her tick but we prefer to stay at the sidelines and glance over from time to time. Why not get involved? Why not say yay and grab her hand? Because it is a lot easier to keep your distance you know just in case. I have never kept my distance from what I wanted out of life. Yes some days are harder than others but that is why I burrowed so far down inside. My husband never understood the fire that lite under me the day my son was born. Dying changes everything. It changes the way you look, feel and even see. Those who used to mean the most to you now simply fade away. Tired of the lies and sheer pretentiousness. No thanks, not for me anyways.
I want my life to mean something for those that find themselves around me. You can change the energy in the room with the right attitude and I am starting to fully understand the meaning of this. The electronic break that we must make inside our waking day is growing to be the most important thing you can do for yourself. A walk in nature with no cell phone or outside distraction so you can take a deep cleansing raw look of who it is you want to become all while in that moment you are just simply being. That to me is therapy. That to me is living in the moment for it is in that moment that you can finally lift free. I don’t look at those that have left me as a punishment. I look to them as if they were my angels. Sitting up on my shoulders guiding me through life and protecting me from the evil that lurks in the shadows. Of course they are invincible and of course they can’t protect me but I feel safe in that moment knowing that if something were to happen they would be right there waiting for me. I didn’t run them off saying f*ck you how can you do this to me! I say, man this sucks that you are gone but I still love you anyways. Till one day we are reunited I will become something in the meantime to honour your existence because I still love you my friend. For all those things that you wanted to be I will become because those in life are easiest. To be a good mother and hopefully wife even if my husband fails to see me as one. To try and be the positive energy shift in the room instead of the negative Nancy’s of our generation.
I live in a world where segregation is the flavour and we will separate and dissect mankind in anyway that we can. We start by sex, then colour, then by education, athletic ability, social class, religion, demographics….how else do we make it so we hate on each other for as long as we can? There is a reason that life was being equated up in this way. Why would we look for love and support from each other when we are told to hate each other and we raise our children on fear. Every human right that we thought our ancestors were fighting for became a load of crap. So many innocent lies spilled over the years for what? For whom? There are only a few in these highly ranked social classes yet we were all born the exact same way. Between a beggar’s legs who wanted the best life for their kids. Only the one with the sword and the dagger made it possible for their family as they fed theirs from the ashes of ours. Did you ever look up on the ones that spit on us and think not today Satan if only I can get the rest of the masses who want to even up the score. People in power didn’t get there because they did nice things. They got there because they raped and pillaged along the way. Follow the bloodline and I am sure you will see. Unless of course the records of been destroyed by some random fire they would have us believe.
I am one but I am ready to make as many people as I can uncomfortable. I am going to pave the way for others like me because it is time we stand up and demand something more. Department stores have all been set up to keep us under lock and key. I always promised I would decolonize my thinking and spending and that is exactly who I have come to be. I have dug my heels in and given up on THEIR dream. I invested in me first and now all the rewards are coming in from my hard work. I have finally become a published writer!! I have NOT bought from a drugstore (except hair dye) for any beauty supplies. I have made lotions and oils and cleansers and even shampoo and conditioner. My makeup comes from Limelife (https://www.limelifebyalcone.com/sweetrubybluez/home) and I absolutely love their products because their beliefs match mine and Color Street (https://www.colorstreet.com/SweetRubyBluez)!! Well Color Street will change my life! Signing up when they launched in Canada was THE smartest thing!! They only just launched Aug 15th and already I hit my first Stylist goal!! So you have to have a means to help realize your dreams are you just become a hamster in a wheel spinning off to nowhere. Ask yourself this. Is the little bit of hard work bow worth it if it could one day evolve you into the person you were always born to be.