To my neighbour across the street who felt validated in her self righteous existence reigning her privilege down on me didn’t give me a second thought as she puffed out her chest and walked away. She wanted to make me feel some sort of way to make up for the blackness of her heart, at least that is what it felt like. Telling me I am crazy and to stop dying my hair I wonder who made her Queen of the block.
The way she peered out from over her glasses like she had no heartbeat or even a soul. She was cold and callous almost grotesque by her nature as she tried to spew her venomous vile onto me. All I wanted was a reasoning for her to treat me this way. I am struggling with my world collapsing in around me and here was this stranger kicking dirt on my grave. I wanted to scream I am a human being I make mistakes who made you God but all that came out was a far cry for help. I asked her who hurt her when she was younger to make her feel justied to treat another human this way.
On and on she went exclaiming that our dogs don’t shut up. Case and point she said as she pointed to my house. Of course they are barking cuz you are yelling at me. Telling me to go away now like I was done entertaining here. Everybody is brave when they are talking under their breath I am just tired of the level of ignorance. You think you are better than me yet you don’t wash your face or even brush your hair. I could probably tell you to respect your elders after all I am 42. It is not my fault that leggings and oversized sweatshirts is your go to look. Now it is clear why you are verbally lashing me, you feel threatened by my looks. That is what makes me crazy in your eyes or gives you the balls to say what you say. To the old lady neighbour beaking off at me from across the street in front of your kids have a little decorum lady, maybe some class or manners and above all else why don’t you lead by example and act your own age. The lesson you just taught your child is you are not allowed to make mistakes. Kindness is a weakness and when you can be a bully do so never do random acts of kindness or good deeds and never ever be nice.
So this neighbour felt vindicated when she decided to come after me. My mental health was already teetering and she was out for blood I can see it in her eyes. Every word was calculated as she tried to issue the finishing blow. “It is true what they say about you, you are crazy.” And I just looked at her like what happened to you to justify you behaving in this way. I just lost a baby and 4 pets and here you were telling me the whose who and the what’s what just begging me to hang myself and die. It’s like you knew what you were saying when you planned to say it. The bully in you gets off that way. To have you living across the street from me just fills me with dread. The energy that you give off is enough to make it so none of us can sleep at night. You talk about my dogs barking but of course they do, they are protecting me. You just hate me for being a lady what more is there to say. To have your opinion trying to weigh me down just makes me feel incredibly sad for your family. You are telling me what is wrong in my life but I can see that what it is you are fearing isn’t coming from me. Your whole life has come to this moment and you feel entitled to say your peace. At the end of the day you are no one in my eyes and now you don’t even have me on your side. When it comes to saying prayers and making peace I will not have you in mine. In fact I still do hope something bad does happen because bad people need to feel their own pain. You need to feel what it is you tried to dish out. Your insecurities of your own identity bouncing off of me and finding you. It was never about my dog getting out and chasing a girl down the street was it?
To say that my blue hair dye has affected my brain tells me that you are the ignorant one and wouldn’t you know it I have two degrees. Your life is valued at your house and the toys you have to validate your existence and keep your family entertained. My mental illness is in control and under doctor supervision but now I am curious what about yours? Your insecurities about where you are in life and the dreams that you will never fulfill or obtain, is that what this is about? It is not my fault you aren’t my style of people as I prefer manners and kindness above all else. Why did you deflect and say that you only sold from your garage three times this year when we all know that nothing could be further from the truth? I listened to your lies about your life and that is how I was able to conclude that an evil like yours exists only when I pay it lip service and mind. Your children will leave your home and inherit your traits and only time will tell what will be there fate. Being cordial and kind is always reciprocated unless of course you are a neighbour like mine. To have to share space with somebody like that just aggravates my nerves but it is a good example of how not to act and might be a lesson for somebody in the future. Imagine being the condescending ogre of the block trying to exercise your weight. Like a good neighbour right unless you are mine then here is hoping to out of sight, out of mind.