Before I was anybody on the Pin-Up scene I was just Red. Don’t ask what I was thinking but it was my mom’s name in high school so I just went with it at first. I truly had no idea what any of it meant to be honest. I just liked the idea of being ultra girly in an era when my Grandmother grew up and how not to better emulate her than to live in her best image. I say best because to me she was simply the best to grow up in a time that was, well we all know how things were.
So that was who I was the first time I was on a stage. A super shy Pin-Up that had no idea what I was doing. At the time it didn’t matter because it was a world I just wanted to be in. So if you are not familiar with the scene it is a mutual love with the 50’s (usually) and cars and bikes all on display with Darling Dames and Gorgeous Gals lined up for all the fans to see. That’s how I remember it anyways. Filed under the category of what was. You know before the mind was corrupted by others opinion of me. It sucked. Falling from a height that you always lovingly adored bruised me in a way that I thought I could never recover from. Luckily I did eventually. And five years after I finally able to reclaim back what used to be me.
I wanted to be somebody in the Pin-Up world without truly knowing what that meant I just knew that there was something inside of me that came alive when I dressed that way. Absorbing everything I could and more I climbed out of my shy comfort zone and me and my family made the 16 hour journey to compete out of province. The first time for me. The journey was very eventful with a 6 month old in tow but I was ready and prepared I thought. Tee hee how can one explain finally being able to realize her dreams.
That night as I was trying to prepare myself for the next day I had no idea who or what I was going to find so I laid awake and tossed and turned. There are no nerves quite like walking the lengths of a car show to find the Pin-Ups in the back but what I came for was friendship so I needed to breathe and relax. What I came to realize in that moment is it had no idea if I won. Sure I thought I was good enough for 2 or 3 but definitely not the whole thing. There was so many girls who were nervous just like me so in my mind it was the biggest honour just to be there.
It was the best day of my life and we had so much fun I didn’t want it to end so when the final moment arrived I just beamed ear to ear. As they announced the third girl, then the second I was determined not to lose my smile. I was happy just to be there I had already pegged the winner just needed to her here name confirmed I looked her way and smiled and she looked at my and sneered. What I had missed out in that moment was it was my name they called….MISS RUBY SWEET CHEEKS. That was the name that I had decided upon because of my overly obnoxious round cheeks, mixed with my Grandmother’s birthstone….AWWWW how sweet. Lol we all needed a connection right so there I was a representation of her. All things sweet and sassy just like how my Grandmother used to. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and that is why she gave me the eye. She thought I was rubbing it in her face. I couldn’t help myself I started to cry. Not because of anything other than sheer joy. I had never won anything before EVER. I was so humbled by the judge’s choice. To honour me above all others there is no better feeling than that int he world.
So why the name change after winning? Well the answer is very simple. What ended up happening in the days after is this creature went ugly on social media. All of a sudden I was the fat, old Pin-Up that roared into town and took her rightful spot at the top (you see she had placed in the top 3 in previous years) so she almost expected it was owed to her. You know throw your tiara back in the ring enough times and sure enough you should end up Queen at least once right? She was butt hurt and angry and she was out for the newbies blood. A lot of other things began to happen throughout the course of that year. I just decided it was time to begin mourning for all that humanity kept losing and all the things we weren’t aware of yet. I died my hair blue and got rid of the smile and for the next almost 3.5 years I became the girl with the struggling smile.
I am reclaiming who I used to be before evolution of the Mean Girl bit me in the butt. I knew I had a tougher skin than that I am not too sure why I allowed myself to get pushed around like that. I wanted to make a statement and I think I am over doing that. The blue hair though I love it is like the inner Mermaid in me singing to get out and she does so every time I give myself a little extra flip of the hair. I just want to be Miss Sweet Cheeks again you know the one with Cupcake Sweet Lips and personality to match (you assumed I should have said Ruby but let’s save that for the cherries xx).