Fake love should be feared more than real hate because it is those lies that people tell each other that bring about our worst fears. Hate is running rampant in our communities and some of us are far too vulnerable to use our hearts much less our ears.
The cannabis community you would think would be more all inclusive but like with any genre we are all subject to it’s fakes. You know the type. The haters. The liars. The cheaters. The ones who prey on us exhausted from trying so hard but what is one more kick at that can if it comes to helping out. Am I right? The one thing that always drives me are those fake followers who pretend like they have your back but they are the first ones to dip out for no reason other than jealousy, hate and even sometimes rage. I always claimed that I was going to take the road most uncomfortable then you are surprised when that is what you see and more. Some people’s only purpose in life is to take as much as they can from other’s just so they can live to see a brighter day. Their days destined to get darker and more gloomy as they lose their sense of self and begin to take from others.
My promise to myself and others is that I would take the road less traveled. I would make a whole bunch of people just by standing up and doing the right thing. My body is triggering to some but the reality is it should be most triggering to me. I have been beaten, used, and disposed of in the most inhumane of ways but if I let my attackers begin to control what I wear and my personality then it is like they are raping me all over again. My counselor told me I was a big girl and it would be next to impossible for any man to have his way with me now. Now according to her should I feel ashamed for being bigger than I was back then? That whether a not a man desires me depends on what the number shows on the scale and nothing more. That I should only be concerned with the opinion of others when it comes to my own body. That runs a fine line to what I put into my body and we all know how I feel about that.
Rising from the ashes to do what feels right is difficult for most. We all have become sheep led to slaughter that is how we have become content in living. Convince me in another way but that is all I see. I see those that are trying to sell us some inferior product just so they can pay their bills. There is no accountability for being lazy in this life and so many of us just keep an open hand. Why work for anything worth keeping if they are only going to take it away from us in the end. Those who need the most help always keeping to themselves. There is no way of knowing the depths of their pain. No way of knowing if you should reach out and take their hands. There are those who have grown tired from trying to get another to listen so they just vanish into the night and fade away. I think about my friends that I lost often because a memory of them I keep tucked away. When times are tough and I feel broken their smile and touch is only an instant away.
What I do in my social media life is to keep those with less than honourable intentions at bay. You know the type. The ones who keep you around out of hate and jealousy and not because they honour who you are or what it is you are trying to say. The ones who are only out for fake love and adoration peddling their filth and discontent onto others and nearby prey. Their personalities dripping with lies because they have nothing worth listening to and have not the mental fortitude to even try to think of the words to say. They want to take the easy road that was paved through a nature’s reserve then get out and walk in the bush. They paint a beautiful picture for us all when things are good but refuse to let us in when the wall crumbles and the roof begins to sink in. The poisonous venom that they threaten to infect us all with makes me run away. I want to tell others but it isn’t my place so I will stand in the shadows with arms open ready waiting to play.
I see bad people and they threaten to take us all out with their jealousy as they can’t keep to themselves and let others play. Their noses are stuffed so high in the air that they can smell the bologna coming out of each other’s *sses. I don’t eat meat so I wouldn’t know. I love animals too much. I can’t look at a sweet face and think I wonder how that *ss would taste. Even vegetables and fruit come alive in the sun and put on an incredible display.
There is something so incredibly empowering when you love yourself enough to not care what other people have to say. Yes I know I am old and curvy and had a child but why should I feel ashamed about any of that just so you can have your way. I will not let anybody have power over me anymore. Not in the way I express myself. How I dress. How I chose to medicate or even how I chose to love. My time here is far to precious to be poisoned by the lies that other people think about me. My body. My rules. I don’t care what other people have to say or even think. The truth I know deep inside my heart. The lies you tell yourself to keep me broken I use as fuel so in essence in a round about way thank you. We are done here now. Nothing else.