I try to put things into perspective but into perspective for what? We have all been lead astray into the unknown robbing Peter to pay Paul. We tell those who we think will get us further ahead a different lie then we tell the beggars and the poor. Anterior motives bloom in plentiful enough to spill over into any room. Why have a friend when you can keep a foe? At least you know the intentions of the later and the other is just a numbers game of what for?
Maybe it was the true love of the heavens who stopped the hate in coming for me. You see the only man I have ever loved with my absolute full heart ended up being a monster and tore families forever apart. My angels couldn’t let me live with that burden so they took my other half away. That is the only piece of the puzzle I can share with you. For now I must pray. Pray for salvation for the souls he robbed and lost. I hope forgiveness will find him. I pray he will once again be OK.
You can’t win for trying when you fail to see eye to eye. Well not eye to eye. I dare you to look in deep. The eyes are the windows to the soul if you believe that and me. I also believed that like I believed in our souls. So much can be learned in their depths and remind us what it is that we can lose if we continue to play the game this way.
When the going gets tough it is always at our own expense. During moments of heightened emotional awareness sometimes it is hard for us to do what is right. Well to do what is right for us. Nobody holds the answer to that piece. That piece is only left for us to find. We know that feeling of giving us goose bumps and making everything inside us wake up and become alive. I know how to honor my own existence so why seek outward validation over and over again. At naseauting quantities and speed.
That it is OK to be different, to be weird, to march to the beat of a different type of drum. I do it with pride and I do it as not to conform or succumb. So I may lose followers at the end of the day I just got to keep repeating…YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU ARE EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE! All I need is my acceptance that I will be OK. That days will get better as long as I have my say.
Be kind because it is easier than being a pompous *ss. Be kind because it feels good to your heart and it feels better than being sad. Don’t you think there is less problems that arise when you are kind and have a pure heart? At least that is what I have come to experience. Do onto others as you would do onto you and if you can’t be nice just shuffle along and keep doing as you do.
Think of how lack lustered some are when they lose that physical connection with life? We always define our existence by who was by our side. Why can’t we be the ones to lift ourselves up? To sing our own praises even become our own ride and die. Oh she’s so vain. Is she? Or is she just sick of this sh*t. Waiting for somebody to validate her like she couldn’t be the one to do it herself.
It’s all fair and love and war and who is for giving second chances? Not me. Not anymore anyways. After losing everything once in life I would hate to start again. The momentum has just started to change in my favour and I finally think I can. I feel that I am finally worthy of the life that was destined for me and there is something strangely intoxicating about that.
Does it matter anymore what others have to say? I am merely just a voided shell of myself. The things I have to hear on the daily just takes my joy away. I hate the things he says to my face like I am capable of washing away the pain. To forget all those words like I have become somebody else as I run to the hills and say goodbye. One day I will find peace in my heart. It takes everything inside my not to fall down and die.
I panic all the time waiting for what’s to come next as I try to understand where it is I am supposed to go. There is just a few thoughts that bother my brain in an almost obsessive of way but I can’t change anything from the past. With every day that passes it could be the last so I have to love on myself like I am the only one in the world.