Anybody else feel a tad bit distracted with the promise of this day? The start of a new week colliding with a new month when used properly should be used to propel us forward with almost a super natural force.

Seems silly doesn’t it? That something that happens quite regularly is now here once again. Why is this one any different than the ones before it? It is because this one I recognize and I have come prepared. What could that possibly mean? Well it all depends on how you start your day. What gives you purpose in life and what are you doing that others could never take away? Think about it. Let that thought reflect. You can’t get to anywhere in life worth going without risk. The heaven’s above have assured us of that.

You have to slow down your life before you can truly look back. Let time seem to comfort and marinade everything around you. Let the love you have for others be your purpose and your center to bring you back. When it comes to trying to find our purpose one can easily get lost. A few entitled men and women from long ago made damn sure about that. It makes sense that we need somebody at the top to lead and keep chaos out of the streets. Where I get confused with their power why do they do nothing to heal the common people that they swear to love, honour and protect.

Here in Canada we are one of the biggest undiscovered graveyards. So many bones of our innocent ancestors left unclaimed and hidden in mounds of dirt. It is hard to want to associate yourself with these kind of beings but we have become stuck. Look what our leader did on Indigenous Day he rented a cabin and went surfing with his family. No cares or worries in the world but what about all those murdered unidentified children. These are babies of your citizens of the living. Now you are desecrating their babies graves. What kind of leader behaves in this way? When given the chance to make up for past wrongs you literal danced upon their graves. I knew I was always ashamed to be considered to be Canadian. I don’t know what culture makes a holiday to remember such tortures but our leader can’t even partake. And what about the Queen has she even spoke up? Read the testament to the survivors they all believed that God and the Queen wouldn’t treat them this way. This is living horror yet we do nothing to make it right. No wonder their demons go untamed and run rampant in the middle of the night.

So now that means all I can do is be accountable for me. My actions will be my salvation I don’t need to be misled. We were all taught wrong from right in some form of another until evil  is glorified and we get off on other people’s pain and sins. Why is it that we insist on harming each other in every possible way? Catty, judgmental eyes and behaviour that would send chills down any sinners spine and grave. What is missing I think from this world is compassion and companions. That true all inclusive come to being that has been missing forever from this world. I feel it every now and again with a few people I have yet to meet. In these times we can be anywhere at anytime with just a click of a button. We can hide behind a whole bunch of shameful memes or we can find a way to enhance each other’s beauty and of course build each other up! To fall in love with yourself first over and over again to start the day is a true sense of beauty and true calming of self. Well until the devil makes his way in and tries to get underneath my nerves, hair and skin.

What I am trying to do is perfect control of my emotions and what better way to engage with myself that has rarely been done before. The honour the vixen that lays dormant underneath that can’t come to the surface because I am not part of that life anymore. The woman I was before becoming a mom is gone now and it is hard for me to determine where did she go. Did she die that morning when my son was born when they were waiting to rip me wide open? Was I promised a continuation of this existence but the evil side of me was banished away? She was hear once. I know she was. I became incredibly mean as a way to survive.  What started to make me angry is the violence that was alive in the streets that my dad used to promise me weren’t true. “Oh no, Ruby that is only in the movies. Don’t be scared.” But I am scared because it is rare that we see happy endings anymore so what does that mean for humanity and all of our kids?

I got distracted and therefore I digressed. Leading into every possibility and promise that comes my way I long to be open. I long to be free to connect with another being that sets my soul on fire and sets a blaze every night with embers still glowing and keeping me warm throughout the day. I long to feel so close to another being that we become one and the same. Flawless in our love for each other never stopping to feed on desire and uplift each other to a deeper understanding of self. And so is passion but I will save that for another day. For right now I am fueled with the possibility of knowing that another has stirred me in such a way. Naked with possibility. Raw at what is new. I yearn to ignite all this passion and release myself forever into yonder and into the deep wide blew.