Our Worst Image

Here it was. The first day my husband went back to work after a few month hiatus and everything that could go wrong did.

I have no idea what happened to my other slippers but when I went to bed last night I had 3 slippers I like to wear around the house to get my chores done and when I awoke there was only one. Just one slipper. Not even a pair. I know now I am being haunted because what the f Universe. Really?

Fine whatever I will just storm around the house in socks. Not my favourite idea of a life time as I pop in and out of the house. Then of course the couch ate the tv remote and my husband has an appointment after work that he is already late too.

I tried my darndest to have everything thing up to snuff. Should be easy without the tv for distraction I mean we literally spent all day rearranging everything and going through toys. So my back hurts and my nerves are on edge so of course I broke my terp slurping banger. Just one more accident for him to beat me over the head with. Not literally but I will never hear the end. How I have no regard for his money even though I was trying to ensure the banger was clean.

Ha what is this crazed lingo that I speak. Just one of the ways that I medicate throughout the day. I guess that does sound kind of weak. What is different between somebody who smokes weed and an alcoholic who drinks is we spend a lot of time cleaning the things that we value we have a lot of things of value that costed a lot of money.

Where I feel some what ok is that the banger was cheap. It’s not like it was hand blown custom. I think it was more than likely made in a shop. I still don’t want to hear it but I know I made the mistake. Reflecting back on how it just crumbled I guess that is what I get for wanting to keep things spic and span. I can’t win for trying so I guess I just won’t. Stop being so hard on myself but I panicked. Now should I tell him as soon as he gets home.

Speaking of evil I am watching the lady across the street picking her nose just outside of her car. I know she is doing it to get on my dogs nerves and mine would it kill her to exercise a little decorum after all. That is how far we have gone down the complete wrong way. Some would rather just be nasty in life instead of showing a little class and some manners.

My confidence is there even though I don’t see eye to eye. Face to face with this generation who can no longer find clean air or even wash their face. They sleep with last nights distrust and angst and other people’s guilt. They no longer do onto other’s as they wish that other’s would. The world is so grey and it has long lost it’s smile. Eager to be quick to irritated instead of being courteous in this cold cruel world. I don’t worry about those that no longer worry about me. Jealousy is a feeling I don’t indulge in. We are all worthy of a life greater than one we remember.

After it is all said and done everything is really just things. Even getting my son I looked down at his tattered Paw Patrol towel that has more than served it’s purpose over the years. Worn and tattered and discoloured destined to be nothing once again. After all.

The things we take for granted now will become obsolete in a very short time. Like when I first got here with no man, no friends just sleeping on a basement floor. Well until I scrimped and saved and stashed away just enough for the Ultimate pull-out couch. Sure I was sad and lonely but I never gave up! Even at 4:30 AM when I was walking through down town to get to work I still believed that a different life was possible.

It took a bit longer for 6g to understand what it all meant. Why some would come and go so fast while others were destined and bound to be Heaven sent. Through no fault of their own except maybe waiting to long to begin to believe.

I don’t think it matters much in the end what anybody thinks. Did you dare to live your life differently or did you continue to let your heart sink. Be brave to believe their is no shame in your game and don’t be scared to hustle hard to obtain it. Success can’t be for everybody because then we would all be doing it but just IMAGINE if you could envision something great! Doesn’t that bring you one step closer to living your best life? Why not try? Take a chance on yourself. I think you are worthy of it all don’t you? Well I do believe that in you so why not fearlessly believe that in me. What is the worse that could possibly happen that hasn’t already happened?

I embrace being a woman because I love who I am and everything else in the middle that makes me me. It does take a minute or two to get on the right track but when it all begins to happen don’t you ever look back! Maybe to self reflect or to remind you how far you have gone but it is only for a quick visit don’t take up residency and stay indefinetly. A lot can happen in a day and a lot can’t happen too. Don’t let another beat you to where you are both are going why not make a friend a long the way. It all depends on who you are and what it you are wanting to do. All you have is a lifetime. Maybe even an eternity too.

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