I am fascinated with all life and the way it bends and moves accordingly in order to live best in it’s own image. That is the gift my ancestors handed down to me. I reminder that I am not as big of a piece of pie that I want to make myself believe. I can make my experience more satisfying by all the living beings that find serenity in their being just being around me. Sure it doesn’t make sense many that ebb and flow that exists between all of us. We would rather sever that lifeline immedetialy then see if there is a way to live in peace without creating harm.

Animals don’t compete with each other to see who looks best. Strongest yes. Meanest yes. Who has the will to provide for their herd of many until they take their last breath es. It would mean that it is not intertwined into all of us to kill. It bleeds down their blood line too just as ours does. Not every being has it in them to kill so they are cast aside and deemed as week. Not every being can do as the were born to do and that is what makes them out to be the weakest link. In their existence killing is a necessary evil in order to sustain our family and to ensure your quality of life. There is a reason why humans needed to illustrate the food chain for some odd reason it only made sense when defined by science instead of our own knowledge or common sense. Then we went one step further. We needed to define this world specifically so that when borders were crossed it gave us a reason to go to war and steal from all those who were suffering, they even stole from the poor. They looted anything worth any value as the took the young women as sex slaves and the young men to fight in their wars. That is how so many peoples lives were defined now fast forward and we are all still miserable still. Instead of doing the right thing and looking at all life as something to be honoured we did the opposite thing. We decided to put a value on individuals and began to make fun of anybody who didn’t fit into this mold.

Animals try to get along with each other almost like the know their survival depends on it. Sure the can be loud and oh so frustrating but where do I draw the line if their existence is worth more than mine. I can’t get off eating meat like I used to because all I see is the flesh. Take eating ribs or wings for example with all that meat sauce covering the lips. An animal gave it’s life so you can fill your belly as you guzzle another beer. Maybe it was the loss of too many animals this year that just makes it so I will never feel the same way again. Having my cat euthanized in my arms as she climbed up to my ear and took her last breath. Why couldn’t I run with her forever? Why is she gone now never to be seen or heard from again? I can hear her squeak in my ear as her breath escaped her. The vets last words to me is she is gone now and I just didn’t think I could take it. I went there with my sweet Lucy and now all I got is this empty carrier. I tried to walk out that door to leave her but I had to run and give her one more kiss goodbye. Once that door closes on life there is no going back to retrieve it and nothing will ever be as it was before or as it seems.

That is the impossibility of life is the continuation of your existence in the absence of another or how is it the world keeps turning around me when everything else begins to change. The judgemental eyes and backward whispers never comfort me but rip my heart right out of my body so I will never ever be anything but the same. I am scared of what we could be if we become to scared to become what we were born to be. Those we once knew of were forgotten about even before they had a chance to live their life. I am sorry for the life robbed from the youth that were my friends from long ago. Bittersweet mememories is all I carry now with me from this lifetime to the next.

Don’t we all wish that we knew where we were going when all said is done and we get to leave this place? Most of us do. We think about it from time to time as people we once were friends with become people we will never have the luxury of knowing. So many billions of people longing to cross paths but when given the chance of human decency most of us shy away. It is hard to believe that in time none of this will matter and each one of us will be long gone. The life that I have loved. The day that has just passed. None of it will matter to nobody in just a few short passing of years ago. Ten years ago was different then even then ten that passed before and the one thing I keep hoping is I just get 10 or so more years. Life I do like to live it. Even in those days that don’t make sense. The days I get to enjoy life and it’s abundance by living amongst it’s creatures and who knows maybe partaking in smoking it’s fine herb. To slow our thinking and it’s logic to a place that might make sense it’s niceties sit in quiet comfort waiting for us to make friends and break some bread.