What never ceases to amaze me is those that insist that life is not a competition are the first people to cut others off at the knees to watch them bleed. Trying to pull the wool over others eyes from the sheep they led to slaughter they are content in trying to win over others with their own demise.

I am tired of the way others lie to us like it is the holy grail. Trying on our last nerves and patience as their attempt at wry humor falls along the side. There are jokes and then there is immoral please tell me what brings you to that great divide. Sure a couple who hustles together lasts forever bit it depends on what their side hustle entails. Are you taking away from another because of your sick greed and getting heated when those you take advantage of stop feeding you? The persistent whines of your own betrayal become the only sound I need to know.

Did you ever sit back and watch a story unfold and watch what it is every character brings to the table and what it is exactly they are trying to say. You know what I am talking about. Those that you know by verbatim are lying through their teeth and you catch yourself wondering what it is they are trying to say. Take for example the couple that swears by their own loyalty and allegence but their friend pool is filled with liars, cheaters, stealers and the most depraived. Right? Does it make sense? Your worth is determined by those you keep around you. You can’t be full of so much righteous good and all around you is all that is rotten in the world. I always maintained you are only as good as the company you keep and all others can go away.

A spouse who gets off on cheating is no doubt lying and cheating on you. Listen to what others want to preach about and you will be alarmed at what is they are trying to say. We numb our own feelings to appease somebody else. How on Earth could that ever make sense? If you can’t trust who you are sleeping beside what would even be the point. What bad people do when they think they can get away with things will leave the naysayers shaking in their boots.

If it isn’t about me when does it become all about you? Why is it your thoughts and feelings are validated and I am just the piece of sh*t you waisted time on killing time until life as you knew it became clearer and sent you through. Except it was never about honesty or doing the right thing, you wanted to capitalize on another’s failures spewing heated insults like this life was only meant for you. That is what drives me most. There are billions upon billions of living species and entities yet for some odd reason we are the only ones worthy of celebrating above the grave. I see it all the time. Those claiming to be friends selling each other out quicker than the time it took you to even finish reading this sentence. People are nice until tempted then they will slit you wide open without thinking and not even a chance of looking back.

Former friends are the worse. Spouses too. Nobody sells you out quicker than somebody you used to know and trust. How can private conversations be used so publicly against us? I think this is what made me put my guard up and made it impossible for me to trust anybody again. I used to have a best friend until she led her cousins off to assault me and eventually she had enough of me and something inside of her just snapped. Ever look into the eyes of a friend who had every intention of gutting you as her brother and mother just sat back and listened and waited for their shot. At least that is what it felt like looking into her eyes in the wee hours of the morning. That single act of betrayal has made it impossible for us to even be friends again but I think she tries. It is just impossible for me to move past the real of when push comes to shove she would rather watch me die.

When trust is ultimately broken how does one ever go back? It depends on all that was said and done in between to give you the answers to that. Have they gone above and beyond for you before or are they the jealous type who tries to take everything away? You can tell when you get there by all the things they choose to say. Do they speak ill about the failings of another or do they believe that is only when we come together that we can finally find a way. Don’t we need each other times to authenticate and validate each other’s existence. If no one is around to see you live did you even live your life to your fullest potential anyways? Does it matter? How do you define a life well lived because I consider all aspects. I even consider the nature in which you find yourself deceased amongst the living. Did you even try to or did you just roll over and die? A salmon keeps swimming upstream against all forces of nature and against all odds. They do this consistently to preserve their own species, it is their life cycle. Each having the same purpose. To make it upstream to deposit their young before they give up from exhaustion and eventually die. They do it without being told and they do it if and when nobody is watching because it is just something that needs to be done. The preservation of our own species should be our focus instead of robbing Peter to pay Paul with Mary like we each don’t have our free will and story. Can you feel the difference and the gravity of the words I am trying to say? Or you just going to smile and nod and whisper to me to have a nice day?