In Defense of Fake

There is a certain quiet calm that comes when all the “fake” friends in your life finally fall along the wayside and all it took was the public love of a plant.

All the hate and shade I get for how I choose to medicate makes it so easy to see the real intentions of those around me. I mean it is only just a little bit of Cannabis. Far milder than the hard alcohol you choose to consume. I mean it is obvious to all those around you that you only cared about yourself. Every post you chose to share with the outside world has been perfectly orchestrated to show the world a different side to your truth. I mean the pieces of the puzzle you choose to share has all been a lie to the outside world.

It still amazes me that those who choose to unfollow you don’t hit the button to allow for you to unfollow them. That single act alone confirms to me that my presence in your life has only been a numbers game after all. To have it confirmed your true intentions makes me relieved to finally know the truth. I always knew you were a snake in the grass. I harbored those feelings for so many years. Why did I keep you around? Who knows to be honest. Maybe I was hopping you weren’t that obvious but it’s our instinct that reminds us of your intentions.

Real women support each other no matter our demons or our addictions. We recognize we come from the same please and as women we would do anything to protect each other. We are the giver of life and compassion and the refusal to acknowledge anything but is a confirmation of how black our soul is. Always honor the feelings evoked by those around it’s your inner child warning you of things gone wrong. I am only a woman trying to survive this hand of cards I have been dealt and trying to redefine this life that defined me. I am happy that trash keeps taking itself out and all that I have to do is tell my story.

My saving grace is in knowing that I am finally free of preexisting narcissistic ways because that is what my journey so far has been about. At least the past 5 or so years when I skipped provinces and come here. I never fit in that well with the “bar star” crowd. I wasn’t born to fit in. I was born to stand out and I am going to do that no matter who is left in my life. In the absence of friends I will be just fine there is something so satisfying about not owing a dime. To be lucky in life is because of who I kept away. I don’t let evil close to me but I do need to be more consistent on taking out the trash.

I never want this part of my life to happen as I got pushed out this way. Drugs and alcohol threatened to grab a hold of me and my ex going to prison was the very last straw. I never shyed away from my story and I always told the truth so I wonder why now I need to feel ashamed by somebody like you. I always smoked weed or consumed cannabis. I preferred it over liquor because I am a baby when I get sick. I like being productive instead of wasting away the day. Watching you with all your health complications is something short of comical. All my old friends in life turned their back on me when I came out. Now tell me doesn’t that go against what Pin-Up is all about? Aren’t we supposed to be a friend, a comrade a supporter to all? Oh wait I forgot you were only friends with me because you were hoping I would fall. Now that I am successful it is grating on your nerves. I knew you always hated me and I am happy those thoughts are finally confirmed…but why keep me around 50/50 lol just click to have me unfollow you too. Number chaser. Publicity monger. I see your number and I decline you by one. Just know that now that your back has been turned your time with me is done.

I will always maintain real women support each other. We lift each other up not knowing who is in each other’s corner because that what we do. We don’t want another child to be cut off from the outside world by being judgemental and scared but that is what so many keep teaching their kids claiming to be self righteous instead. What is wrong with the world is the failure to understand that we all should be allowed to live with dignity and grace and not be made to feel like we are so out of place. It’s amazing to me how long I have been involved in this Pin-Up but it’s only because I want to punch holes in it being all inclusive. Since my journey began I have been too old, too fat, too ugly too be involved and now it feels like being too damaged should also be on the list. Oh and I forgot being too poor. I remember being excluded from events because I was 36 and living solo. Ever witness a phone call where they were discussing your bank account balance like it was their concern? I have. Ever been made to believe you were getting a ride only to find out that they had zero intentions of getting you and only wanted to make you cry? I have! That is why I show up over and over again until the day I die because I feel people should be held accountable for their actions like you and I. I have fake friends but there time is up. It’s only a matter of time before they click unfollow and for that sole reason I think I will pass and light it up!

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