Someone Like Her

I am BEYOND confused. Why do people think I am somehow different because I embrace my mental illness and publicly show off  my preferred method to self medicate because it is the only thing that makes sense to me. Everything that we have ever needed has been blessed to us in some form yet we have distorted it into being something more. Something completely out of our grasp because where is the profit in that? Oh and if you aren’t rich already don’t bother coming back!

Nothing changes. I don’t change. I would rather be honest than be bound by another’s limitations of me. I am not bad for smoking weed honey it is you who is bad for judging me. I smoke to feel normal because in some way or another it was humans that hurt me. Not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not rich enough. Not skinny enough. All the things we prioritize and deem it to be the be all end all and we hold those values up high. When you begin to point fingers and judge somebody for the pain others have caused it shows me all I need to know about you so I no longer need to be kind. I will still be kind I suppose in some form or another. Why paint my soul black to suffer when I can move along just like you.

There are some that are like fillers who just keep you around to keep their ego’s filled. Oh its OK IF I unfollow and delete you but I will keep you around to keep my numbers high. Go barf in a tree and hit all the branches on the branches if they are lying to you what else is it that they can hide. Judging people for their mental illness and how they medicate what’s next to show shade on? Their secual orientation or the color of their skin? When you fail to accept anybody for anything less than they are you are telling them in this form they will never be good enough. You will stoke their fire and feed their pain until a noose is formed that they can never let go. Why are people so mean and judgemental and shallow? Are we teaching them these skills before they can rven breathe? It has to be formed in utero from this dimension to the next what a shame for the living and all the self esteem they have left.

We are SO minor, insignificant and obsolete and instead of joining forces we would rather beat each other in the head. Live in a world that is morally unacceptable sitting on top of BS waiting to feed. Of course the rich get richer but we live in a world where they refuse to help. Imagine just imagine that if the powers that be reflected their good fortune in life onto all of us in the world. They could be. They could save us all but instead of doing anything they fill their lives with drug and alcohol. How can we trust the human race at all. Show kindness and compassion. Should be easy and a tale as old as time but it’s almost an impossibility. Those in a position to save us would rather sever us from limb to limb

People do unspeakable things to those they should value most. How many people devastate the ones that love them for an instant gratification that is always short lived? All the time. They take for granted the feeling in space that they actually have in order to try and obtain something else. Something that either instantly feels good or maybe eventually nobody usually does something just to get back. Well I guess that would depend which eventually serves you. Depending on what side of the tracks you find yourself dancing on. I like to dance. Do you? Let’s shed the weight that keeps confining us so we can one day just move along to the beats of a different dancers that somehow know the tune of our song. Like a fine fiddle played long into the night with the calm sounds of spring telling us the things to come will be alright make life a sweet bliss. Something worth living for. At least grasping at with both hands. If you can’t enjoy your own company what hope in hell do you actually have? One day you will be all alone with only your memories to comfort you in the dark. Not many will come visit you bit many will promise that one day they will come on through. Do you get mad or just move along knowing that life as you know it is slipping all around you fast like quick sand so don’t let go. Embrace what it is that you do have and don’t worry about the things that don’t make sense. They aren’t there to make you feel good that is for sure. They want to ensure your skin is crawling at the site of them just entering the room. Yes your holy righteousness or whoever it is that you think you are. You can’t win for trying these days it’s a wonder there are still enough believers to fill up a room.

Somebody else died today. I mean of course they did. You got to live like there is no tomorrow cuz tomorrow is never promised so balls to the walls like we can’t fail and nobody else is watching. I used to live in a world where I was daddy’s little girl and now I am daddy’s most hated. Oh well sm I right? One day he will be gone and so will I be for that matter. I am scared for that day although it is coming much sooner than later. I can’t hide who it is I have come to know in life because truth be told I kind of like her.

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