Owning Mine

The idea that some, correction, most will complain until their hearts content without committing to an inability to change. My head hurts but most days the pressure is too much so I just sit in silence and hope the naseauting presence moves away. Like a rat nawing on festered intestines I want nothing to do with it.

We experience life only to have it ripped painfully away by death. In some shape or form that is what all of our lives are destined to be. We fall in love over and over again with the journey only to have vultures to feed on our insides and gizzard. Where is the romantic comedy in that? There is none and forever always will be. In some way or another we have been born to be broken and you can see it all happening right in front of our eyes.

And then there are those with this air of over righteous self entitlement that makes you wonder how they got that way. How did another get so high on themselves that nobody else matters? That all of the world’s problems could cease to exist if we all admitted we are created equal and over time all came from the same place. An ancestor gets married in order for another being to prosper now ask yourself where is the satisfaction in that. If another being creates a different ending to their story by eliminating another wouldn’t that mean that they then must have crossed a line. Evil does as evil did and you have to wonder why is there this big divide?

Why? Why would it be OK and leave some moments of history ignored and unacknowledged leaving these beings obsolete? That’s what it means when an existence is snuffed out and some people pay no mind like it doesn’t matter at all. A child. A child pays the ultimate price with their lives and the monster who hurt them have their acts sealed like these crimes against our children have never been done. I don’t care who you are or who you have in front of you keeping me away. There is no way I engage in Hollywood or TV because I refuse to line these pompous beings who continuously hurt us. WE can control the world if we just OPEN our eyes. Stop letting your mind be polluted and let yourself believe that inside you, you can find the most righteous way.

Listen to your heart, no joke. Try to be all that you can. Dance to the beat of the sacred heartbeats of all the fallen angels that can be found all over the ground. Lift them up to a place where they have never been. Embrace them fully in death like they so eagerly searched for in life. We are so terrible to each other in the ins and outs of every day. Pushing people to the side for someone else but not too far in case plans fall through is mediocre at best. That feeling is the worst. Where your not good enough to be somebody’s first plan of action but maybe just maybe. What does that say about them? That they can’t handle being alone? I like being in my own company as shouldn’t that be the case? I prefer my own company because at least I know I can trust. That is what happens when you get stung more than once it is hard to relax when your comfort zone is out of site.

My back is arched and I try to relax there is only so much deep breathing can do. Being house bound for so long though, numbs the senses and skills I feel weird at times when I go outside into the world. It’s so different then I remember. Less smiles. Less laughter. It is hard to be the light in the world when the darkness is so inviting. Like a warm hug on a cold moment that warms you to the tips of your toes. Those beings with that capability are so fastly fleeing. So many people have been stretched to their limits. Confined to their houses and losing faith by the minute. How does life return to the way it used to be when we live in a world where the government is a tyrannt and doesn’t care about you and me.

I think about the little girls murdered by their own father. Killed so he can keep his lover even though he was still getting it at home. Don’t believe so? The wife he killed was pregnant with his first son but he killed her anyways. Killed her and put her in a shallow grave and threw his young children in an oily vat to die. Then he lied to the authorities and tried to act concerned. That is a monster in ever possible way and too many beings resort to this. Not happy. Murder your family. Move along like they were never born. Can you imagine? I can’t but Hollywood can. You become what you surround with and if you don’t believe me. Take a look around you, you might be surprised by what you see. Now imagining absorbing your surroundings. Who do you become when you close your eyes?

What I love about my space is I am surrounded by infinite life. From the minute I hit go I hit the ground with such a feverish pace. What I do in life makes no sense to most. Maybe to none. I have goals that I set religiously, in my head, now it’s time to become a force and right down the words that I said. Words become a force that puts a fire in your step. Almost like accountability. Who wastes time writing something down that’s not important…nobody. Make your life important but don’t be overbearing. You don’t want to be offensive but you do want to be caring. Your life and you are worth it. You are worthy of all the things!

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