What Lays Inside

The truth about family is the expectation they will always be there even when they turn over an ugly side. The ones that exclaim their time is to precious to even bother to check on the loved ones they leave behind. Left behind in their hectic display of narcissism as they only do what needs to be done for the conscious to be clear. If only they new it I’d a habit that is only formed consistently throughout the years.

I don’t force anybody to be around me or like me no more. The days I used to waste thinking of those that couldn’t be bothered, ha. You can see the ways others go about their business like they have some sort of self righteous entitlement with their ignoramus display. The hardest life is one where you have to watch another waste away before your eyes. You can’t prevent time from taking the ones you love as they begin to quickly waste away. My heart is breaking for what the Universe has in store. To witness an aging mother just barely hanging on as her daughter refuses to be at her bedside ravages my insides. This woman in all of her grandeur got to live a life that so many dream about now while waiting at the end of it time will take it all away. Some of those she loves tried their hardest while others with their hand out just slinked away.

The reminder has to be the beautiful life lived and not this terrible ending at the end of it that makes us all sick. Every morning is filled with worry as we wait for that dreaded call. Did she survive another night all alone or did an army of angels come to take her home? That is what it will take at the end of it all as her daughter and grandson build themselves up with courage everyday. It can’t be easy to walk this part of one woman’s journey when the natural instinct is to run away and hide. She was a beautiful woman and still is in our life. Why let the hands of time corrupt our thinking and take it all away.

I want to surround myself with all that is good in the world. Focused on my own intentions instead of the absurdities of the world. To acknowledge that we have no control over others and to relinquish all thoughts of negativity that so relentlessly hold us back may actually begin to set us free. Free from the bonds that hold us back so we can finally be the authentic image of self that we always wished ourselves to be. We have to remove that toxic poison that we have allowed to.flow for too long. What purpose does it serve if not to annoy us and make us long for better days.

I will not shy away from death though it becomes hard to stare him in the eye. The irony is not lost that the Reaper is male just like Mother Earth is so obviously female. The female energy is one that over pouruth love and life with the male being so domineering and overbearing to cause a strife. Of course I would hint towards men being mean. But it’s not so much the entity but the things that are unforseen. We have both veins of energy running inside our being. Some flow together quiet nicely where other patters aren’t quiet as they seem. To put your best face forward or to cover it up all together I’d something you can only know. Will you rise up to the challenge that is or will you just quietly hit sleep and ignore.

You can move through life doing nothing complaining on deaf ears. Who wants to bare witness to another’s testimony when all it does is squashes other beings dreams. To wah a finger constantly while turning a blind eye. There is no accountability for the living just an over entitled eye. I am weary of those that are weary of me. No second chances if you know what I mean. Fool me once that is more than enough. Your cup runneth over and it is flowing with your rank sh*t. Some people’s children anyways. Don’t give a damn about others existence and probably never will and that’s a shame. The same light and fire that burns inside of me is the same fuel that ignites inside of you. Imagine what we could do if only we had the courage and humble ability to lay down our ego’s and find piece in our minds.

I love the light that exists in all of us when we step out of our own darkness and begun to believe. It has to come from ourselves like this long beacon of light. Do you believe you are worthy of something greater than why is it impossible to believe the being standing right next to you is worthy of the same thing? Because they are. Till their mind gets polluted and they get hurt too much and all the weight on top of them makes it impossible to breathe. I hate that moment. When the weight of the world comes crushing down on you and you are left wondering do I still dare to dream? Do you? Of course you do! You have to get up every dang day and ignite that passion and set that intention so you can finally survive in a world with just you and me. Well not entirely but you must have an idea what I sm trying to say. The only people that matter are those that matter the most. The ones when the going gets tough they have your back instead of selling out. Ah the sell outs fuel me like no other. I won’t allow me to become what they think of me and I will use that drive to succeed!

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