I am drawn to celestial places of light and healing because I am determined to find out what it all means. The crystal I picked out was a beautiful turquoise blue (my son’s favourite color), I couldn’t wait to get home and show him. When he saw the crystal his eye’s lighted up and as he held the crystal in his hand he said, “Say that this is for me.” How can you say no when he is holding it up to the light. Exclaiming about all the colors and being filled with divine light. Excitedly he told me look at all the colors!! You can even see the ocean. That is how I knew I just brought home his power crystal. What I wanted for me became the greatest gift for my little and indirectly for me too. We bonded over divine energy and light in it’s most exquisite form.
People make it difficult to want to share because all they focus on is there truth. There is no other way to get from point A to point B just their way or the highway but we all know that is not true. There are hundreds of ways to get to where you are going all that is asked of you is you try not to harm others when you find yourself on the same road. Some people maybe casual with their intentions but others maybe lost with no idea or clue where to go. Wouldn’t it make sense to be kind instead of Texas Chainsaw Massacre their *ss? That is what other’s people’s opinions feel like when they have NO IDEA about your life. The words they use to try to enlighten come across as a blood bath with nobody surviving that condescending undertow.
All I know is I am tired of being ashamed for my shine because it is to bright for your eyes. Imagine living your whole life under somebody else’s shadow because they finally had it their way and managed to permeate your brain. Kick them out for being obnoxious then take over your rein as Diva Supreme. I mean we only have this one time to live through our eyes so why wait for another to tell us how to live it and if we got it right!
A fool and his money are soon parted but what happens to the fool when it comes to his mind? Nothing permeates our inner being faster than trying to fit in, up to and including lying to the world about who it is we are to become. I know my mind and I know my truth and my reality is that I was born to never fit in with the rest of the world. Sure it is isolating. Like a one man island but I would rather live here than where I was living before. Most friends and family only come around when they need something so I cut them off. My mind is to fragile to constantly be playing games with those that will never keep my sanity in mind.
The problem with the unbelievers is they will do anything in their power to get it so that you don’t believe. They will taunt you until you can’t even remember your own name so what hope in Hannah do you have of every feeling complete. I could ask a stranger but I am asking you. Can you finally tell me the truth if you dare?
My husband’s greatest insult is that you are such a terrible person that EVERYBODY HATES YOU! That’s nice! I like it that way. Keep all the haters away. I do what I do to expose other people just like him. At least I know I am authentic and honest and what you see is ALWAYS what you get. Yes he is right I have ZERO contact with much of my family, and I LOVE it that way!! I had one sister who showed up at my bedside to make sure that I was dying and the other one could care less if I am alive. So what? I know who they are and what they are about. I have reached my hand out in friendship more than once and got bitten should I keep on trying until there is nothing left? As far my Dad, zing, try again!!!
There is the reality that sinks in that no matter how hard you try in this life when you get to the end of where you are going everything that you have come to know would seemingly implode. It starts oh so simple in the beginning but when the dominoes fall there is no predicting where they may lay or how far they may go. The best one can hope for is keeping their hearts open as all other senses begin to fizzle out and erode. This is what we have been waiting our whole lives to see. What will happen to us in the end. We all sit around waiting for that day. Then run in the opposite direction when it begins to come.
Am I different or are you different or maybe the rest of the world is just weird? Maybe weird is the new normal as we all try to live our authentic best lives instead of a big wig idea of what a normal life should be like and feel. There are times when I feel like I shouldn’t be so bold with my opinions but then I am like if you have a feeling you should honour it unless of course it makes another feel bad. You know what I am trying to say. Don’t make other people feel bad with your actions and yes even your words. In the end it is you who should feel bad no matter who you surround yourself with. Monkey sees as monkey does but it is the confident monkey who is able to walk away and forage on his own. It isn’t so much that he doesn’t like the other monkeys, no, he just realizes that life is too short and there is so much more to do then sit around and bicker over who has better shoes.
I live my life like today was my last no matter who I find myself surrounded by or who could potentially enter the room. That is what makes me lucky. That inherent sense of self worth. The idea that I am just as worthy as any being as long as I live organically and stand by a sense of morals and truth. I don’t need validation anymore from those that will never understand. Am I spoiled, lucky, or just insistent on living my best life like this would be my last day on Earth. I know what dying feels like just like I know what it feels like to come back. There are those that we keep close to us that are just counting the time before we say our final goodbyes. Good people are felt and not heard like so many people think. I don’t mind sitting in the shadows to wait for an entity that feels good instead of constantly diluting my own self worth.
Anti depressants threatened to take me down the deepest, darkest rabbit hole I have ever known. Happiness became a struggle for me and I had no idea who I was or worse who I was becoming. The reason for that is I was getting driven away from my authenticity as I began to dodge daggers from left and right. I listened as friends bashed each other like cowards while backs were turned then singing their praises like canaries like they weren’t the serpent behind them waiting to get their feed. Meh. I see bad people and they are all dressed in monotone hoping to hide their mistakes from the rest of the world. I see you and I raise you a leopard print cat suit I am not ashamed of my game that I bring to the world.