The relevance of certain being on our timeline is they always try to overstay their welcome and have the last say. They never brought any decency into your life when given the chance to do instead they try to spurn your existence in every which way. Hate is best not served at all and only to the right kind of being. Those beings that would rather watch their neighbour fall then do anything at all. The ones standing in all the glory even though they got their riding on the backs of their friends. Ya I see the trailer park trash that was brought in, I was in fact born in one after all.
The names and hate that makes it way to me finally makes me want to laugh then pull out my hair. The temptation of walking deeply on the other side is always welcoming to me, I lived nearly 4 decades on that side after all. I want to explore deeply into life and all that matters and all that is left when this Earth ceases to exist. That is a very real possibility these days. If it was alarming during the 40’s you best believe the fear is heightened on the brink of the third world war.
Life in it’s simplicity is all around us in it’s abundance till we knock it all down and build another shopping mall. At least that is what they did here in my community. Built another Safeway and are moving the one here across from the Senior Centre to make it incredibly inconvenient for all. Seniors moved into the area because it was easy for them to walk across the street now with no real bus route how are they to eat? On a larger scale, demographically speaking, those in charge don’t give a damn about those below. Just look at how people carry on about coyote or cougar sighting like those animals have anywhere else to go. We didn’t care about their food supply or prolonging their lives. Don’t you think they have an energy inside their being and when taking advantage for far too long there will be some sort of hell to pay? War. Famine. Volcanos. Tornadoes. All have been sent down to thin out the herd. War being the most incredibly selfish out of all of them because it is man at the helm of that brain.
With all that is said and all that we know what is stopping ourselves from driving ourselves into extinction with our obsessive need of lusting after more. Bigger, badder, bolder until there is nothing left. We keep throwing stones out into the distance and it is only a matter of time before they connect with something that shatters. Peace of mind I think is the first thing to go. That is why I live the life I do and pay attention for the obsessive greed of others no more. The rich get richer and the broke die young. Die inside that hamster wheel of life that we all so obsessively gravitate towards. All I want is a life that feels good and I word hard everyday for that. I am a stay at home mom on a mission and I am dam proud of the life I lived.
At 37 after a listless life of couch surfing, dating losers and yes even living on the floor I began to get my happy ending. I cut off from those who were dragging me down. Like a dead weight in the ocean there was nobody I knew offering their help to get my feet back on the ground. I did it all myself and worked hard every dang day. I gave up my career to be a mom that I waited most of my life for. Correction. ALL of my life for. Then people wonder why I get so butt hurt when it is perceived they are taking me down. A true friend is rare and I think I may have encounter one or two. My paranoia always getting the best of me in the end so I started this blog to diffuse them too. Every truth I have ever known I have spilled it here over the years. I have even gotten some immense hate and shade for that too but it is better than wasting my time speaking to deaf ears.
Do you regret pushing somebody away? In my truth the wrong person can’t be pushed away. They would be sympathetic and understanding and they would stop the bus from running over you. Especially one that has been around almost since the very beginning. I laugh at the ones who say they stood up to my bullies like anybody around me actually did so I stayed away. I kept to myself and lived my own life. I did the things that made me happy and at times there was the desperation that made me want to end my own life. Cheating always hurt the most and those b*st*rds always got off under more than one girl. I couldn’t wait to get out of my small town fast enough. All I wanted was to be successful after the first 18 years. Maybe I didn’t wake up with the fire in my soul like I do now. I realize the value of time and how much time we have left and I hate the idea of leaving one day wasted without giving it my all.
What do you do in a day and do you live by somebody else’s clock? The only thing I need to do is care and teach my son and care for the 9 cats, 3 dogs, 3 crabs, 5 budgies and chinchilla oh ya and my garden too. After all of them are maintained and kept happy I tried to read, blog and educate. I am obsessed with DIY beauty because I believe organic skincare should be something that is accessible to all. Not everything needs to be about getting another man richer. We can do what do to be nice and because it feels good instead of buying into this blue collar life that has been thrust upon us.