Am I Different?

The problem with conformity is it heightens the differences between us and dissolves compassion in our fellow beings. Just look at the way we treat anybody different. The ways that we have been known to react previously. I still can’t wrap my head around Autistic children during World War 2 getting gassed and burned.

Wars have never been with land and the desire to control that space. War HAS always and WILL always be a time to try and purge those who desire their life to be anything different then the deranged mind who has seemingly lost all control. I can trust somebody who lashes out with emotion far easier than a man with a stone cold face. There is a reason why the reference is being made to that of a stone cold killer, one only needs to open their eyes to let that truth sink in.

My son is different. We know that he is but the reality is, is he different? And to whom does it matter. If the bell does not toll does it still toll for you? Or you just so hopeful that your opinion should and shall matter? Did I fail somehow as I parent already without even a diagnosis? Even if that diagnosis comes is it from me smoking weed as I tried to cope or maybe it was the lack of educated health care. I can’t blanket over what my ob-gyn did. She almost killed us with no remorse. Not even a tear could be had from her eyes.

Was it the vaccines? Does it matter if it was because without them our children could possibly be dead. Not even our children think about ourselves. Vaccines were made to control a disease running rampant during times when humans were content in living in their own filth. Isn’t that what caused of all this in the first place? An overrun city full of rats? Throw your bed pots into the street every morning and wait for the summer to heat up that stench. What does it matter what they used to do because we all know that we will never go back. Society could never allow us to live so archaically. Could you imagine a life with no internet or even a phone. But it has been done. Since the dawn of time. Humans still had motivation even when they were simply living in caves.

Jim Morrison said it correctly, “people are strange.” Man, are they ever. The things that we do to make our hearts happy would give our ancestors all kinds of chill. Have we lost all meaning of life as we propel ourselves further down the road of hate and ill fed? Ill fed with the lies that society needs you to believe about each other in order to further prevent the breaking of bread. You need to keep the masses separate because what if they enlightened each other and began to conform? What if you honoured the people that don’t feel good by doing something simple to turn them away. Live happy! Follow your truth. Put your nose to the grind and move like it was your last time to dance on Earth. Cuz it very well good be and this could be your last chance. What if I gave you the confidence to rise like a Phoenix from the ashes rising from the dead I got you. We all need an advocate in our corner to help us in some sort of way. The cat who ate the canary smiles the biggest because they dared to try and win is all I have to say. They don’t care so much who feeds them but they are very mindful of where it is they lay.

So is my family different or is it yours that is out in left field? Stop that thinking it doesn’t matter who we are inside our intrinsic family framing as long as it is ours and it works. Imagine trying to smother the life and love out of something so small to extinguish their light. I can’t imagine how confusing this world would seem, especially with the last two years under our belts. We were just establishing friendships then they all got ripped right away. Were mom groups at the library really a thing? Or am I out to lunch once again? I try to relate to his world and see it through his eyes even though I have this heightened sense of being. It is hard not to push my jaded experience from humans because he needs to have an unbiased opinion. He needs to be able to see the world through his eyes and not through mine that are filled with so much heart. Yelling hasn’t worked for either of us so I need to put some work into maintaining it. The frustration is real especially when you hit middle age. Am I tired of this hamster wheel or am I just old the reality being just a little to fresh to sink in.

Am I different or are you different or maybe the rest of the world is just weird? Maybe weird is the new normal as we all try to live our authentic best lives instead of a big wig idea of what a normal life should be like and feel. There are times when I feel like I shouldn’t be so bold with my opinions but then I am like if you have a feeling you should honour it unless of course it makes another feel bad. You know what I am trying to say. Don’t make other people feel bad with your actions and yes even your words. In the end it is you who should feel bad no matter who you surround yourself with. Monkey sees as monkey does but it is the confident monkey who is able to walk away and forage on his own. It isn’t so much that he doesn’t like the other monkeys, no, he just realizes that life is too short and there is so much more to do then sit around and bicker over who has better shoes.

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