Deep Inside

I lived a long time in the shadows of others trying to be accepted for somebody who wasn’t me. I got a lot of comfort when I was alone. It was only in like company that I could only let go and take a huge sigh of relief. Those beings are like an elixir of life that fuels me. I am driven by their love and compassion and I think I can say the same for them.

We are conditioned to believe that we need to live a certain way to be accepted. I have to force my mind to think of a time when it wasn’t like this for you or me. When the only differences between us was where we laid our heads the mentality was to share what was foraged so we ALL got the most out of life which was simply to live happy. There was no desire to compete to get to the type because we all knew we would end up in the same place.

I try to imagine what was to gain by domineering a race in such a way. This is a definitely a race thing as when the white man came to my country (Canada) all they wanted was to pervert the way that other humans survived. Imagine a race the survived and thrived without this incestual need to climb their way to the top using the corpses of other human beings. There is no way that the meaning of life was the rise to the top and the crumbled pieces of other beings that now lay at your feet. For as long as I can remember I was dying to fit. I drank to be accepted. Started doing cocaine just to look cool. Go ahead and say it but this is the only crowd that made room for me. This was the only crowd who didn’t care about the past and all the abuse that I endured. Nah. They didn’t define me in that way as so many do now and it just does my head in trying to understand.

We are all born equal straight out of the womb. Everything that we needed to live a great life was always granted to us if we were willing to put in the hard work and give our neighbours a hand. See that is what was important for survival. Each entities ability to play nice. It wasn’t until currency ruled the land and many would starve instead of being fed. That is the lies that were told that we had to all grow up and go to school. Learn a trade. Become valuable to a government who will always view you as collateral damage. No matter how hard you work at this life there is always some guy above you waiting to take it all away. Look at Ukraine. Isn’t that insane? We now know first hand the murderous rage that was in Hitler’s eyes yet we still let this man live and breathe the same air as me and you. Nowhere have I seen a government that gives a damn. Look at what happens in times of National Crisis we all have a printing press in our back room. How can we pledge 200 million in cash we don’t have. This war will devalue everybody’s currency and that is not the only elephant in the room.

If enough of us would rise in our truth instead of slandering each other’s names maybe a war of this magnitude would never happen. If there wasn’t that desire to own, obtain and get ahead then millions of innocent women and children would not be knocking at an early grave. There is no rhyme or reason when an evil begins to rein on this Earth. It will take more than one or two of us to stop the wrath of such an evil human being. If the truth will set us free why don’t more of us look for the answers. Maybe the only truth we seek has been stuffed down deep our throats.

We all want to be accepted before our life is over and it is too late. The light we seek in our eternal damnation is the same light that burns inside of us when we are alive. We are meant to be equal and help each other be successful not hope and prey on another beings demise. We see it all the time and we just turn our heads. That is why evil rules supreme and some bellies will never be fed. What I want out of the life is the same I think that most do. I want to just be eternally happy with no other being trying to blow out my flame. They will try and they will return screaming my name. There is nothing that can be said to sway or betray they already had their chance now forget all of that crap. It’s just too much at times to always be so endearing and accepting. Why do we have to keep on forgiving in life when there is no getting out of it just one place to go?

I think of those that have had my back and those that have sold me out. I never forget those that have chosen the enemy even if they come begging back. Always watch out for those that will scorn you and chose their libido out of loyalty and respect. Flat on your back or soon to be on your *ss. I laugh at those with too much confidence especially when it is laced with an evil thread. I have had more than my fill then this type of being. Sleeping to the top to be credible like is the only thing worth doing or that you might find success at it. Can you make a hoe into a housewife? It depends on who is the hoe I suppose. There are those that can’t even clean up their own mess and it’s a doozy too busy making their nose brown trying to be heard.

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