Sitting here staring at the numbers and symbols staring back at me it is very clear that one of my cats had sat on my keyboard deleting the few paragraphs I had wrote. In the end nothing can be done. Just that faded memory of what was to be. You know whatever had irritated me enough from the day before that I had decided to try and capture it into words. The only purpose being to connect with the essence that is and was all me. Until my final breath and my flame fans out as I tell the world my last goodbyes.

Too often I can be found with my eyes closed trying to absorb all that I find around me. That is why I am quick to cast. Especially when somebody’s aura just doesn’t feel quiet right. Any inkling that you may have had now burns into your skin like the hot rays of today. There are no friends to be made among thieves. Especially when they are all more than willing to participate and play. To the untrained eye some could get lost in the magic of what could seem to most to be a controlled display of mannerisms and decorum but to those who are able to dig deeper there is a putrid stench to be released.

Watch what people become with just a hint of fame of fortune in their horizon. The life that they claim to be leading is far from honest as their blood fills with poison from the rat race. When most were baring children I was eyeballs deep in that cesspool. Dying to fit in to be accepted on stage losing all my fabulous womanly curves, I was thin. Emaciated at best. Of course for what I thought I believed you could count all the ribs sticking out from my rib cage. I got laughed at by many and those who didn’t know how sick I was just applauded me and congratulated me on my discipline. How sick and twisted is a world like that?

Now when I encourage a woman to embrace her true image I get laughed at and boo’d off of stage. Because of my belief on how I medicate has made me a martyr in the pin-up world. To say I am hated is just part of the game. I dug my 5 inch stilletos in and refused to play all in on their game. Man made chemcials will set your blood on fire and make you explode. Look at how many have fallen victim to just aspartame. There is a reason their is a warning that comes on the label. Just like drinking wine or having a cigarette the chemicals that we regularly consume are just as alarming. I would rather be full and voluptuous and glowing instead of pale skin and green with envy. That is what you call that jealous eyed beast that hangs onto your every word. Making you believe that you are better than somebody unlike the coward title that you deserve. I get that lie too. That life I mean. We all want to be better than what we promised and we would sell out any living being to get there. Over top or underneath whatever it takes to benefit me.

I suppose the same fire that is alive in me can very well be alive in another being. The biggest difference that I feel between me and most, however, is I truly want to see other beings succeed. I want to fan their flames higher so they are larger than life. What I find about most of these beings is that they are shy to one day even return the favour. They sell you out quicker then you can say boo! I think that is why I would rather fly solo in a sea of fur and feathers then beings that are incapable of resisting temptation. Can we resist temptation or do we always give in?

They also say do what makes you happy but do they mean all the time? Is it possible? Shouldn’t it be possible? How did we evolve so far as humans that we have forgot what it truly means to be alive. I don’t think it means to sit and be entertained by electronics this habit has only evolved over the last couple hundred years. Imagine the times where the arts thrived where you could see a play under the stars. Even to see the gladiators in the Coliseum would have been something short of out of this world. The journeys and adventures that would last days and weeks. Just to get to the local corner or handy store to get your supplies for the upcoming weeks. The romance of living has been lost on us all as we gravitate towards total world annihilation and it is coming at a very fast rate. An alarming rate. All things considered so if you are still waiting to live your life balls to the wall what is it going to take to get you to leave them there?

I keep trying and I keep grinding and I keep adding to my repertoire. Ain’t nobody going to be able to accuse me of taking to the sidelines and just waiting to take it all in. I have always tried to be a little bit different and little bit crazy and of course just a little bit out there. If we only get this one chance what is stopping you from giving it all you got? You can reach out to me and I would more than love to reach back if I just know that you are out there hustling too. Dreaming that you can make a difference just by having your thoughts and sharing some of them one day. It’s true that all it takes is one to make the world change so now I am wondering what is stopping the Universe from allowing it to be you. To be the star that shots across the sky at every night. Just a rare chance of being noticed before you face once again out of sight.