Oh what a fickle, fake world we live in. All to draw attention to ourselves and to turn that proverbial head. If only we can get enough people to notice our failed attempts at grandiose embellishment as we step over old friends and family members just to sit at another being’s table to break bread. Who we are as humans is merely a shell of the beings who existed her before. We have become to incestual with our attempts at fame and fortune. Becoming somebody else just to keep our celestial souls fed.
What human beings are capable of should fill us all with dread. When that evil light begins to switch inside of someone you better watch behind you or be met with the end. There are those that are content on highlighting what it means to be evil glorifying that behaviour like it is their last will and rights. I am never shocked anymore by what constitutes as self righteous behaviour, the truth will all come out in the wash in the end. The games we play just to keep us alive are the same inner track we find ourselves running on long after we are dead. Your life is the reward for the life that you lived so what happens to the majority of us when we are contempt of all things that are right. The lies that we believed to help get us to the end are the same lies that comfort us when we start losing sleep. Maybe that is all we do is sleep when the world that we find ourselves in becomes to painful to acknowledge. There are those that sacrificed their whole lives for their family now they waste away in a corner in a poorly ventilated room.
Yesterday my husband told me to do the world a favour and take every pill I have. He said it with such hate and venom that I took a deep breath and simply said, “I would never do you that favour by ending my own life. You and the people like you are the reason why I keep trying so hard to something sticks.” Maybe nothing will and I wasted all this time for nothing but at least I have always been real with my approach to living instead of getting wasted every day and living that party life. There are beings out there that still identify themselves in that way, “Party Girl”. What does that even mean? Are you just here for a good time or are you trying to forget? The problem with some of the girls that exclaim it is their right to be that way they give everybody else a bad name. I don’t drink to get annihilated I smoke trees to set my mind free. I used to be easily offended by these night life’s constantly judging me. I must be a terrible person for trying to be artsy and focusing on life that is around me instead of drinking to black out with my t*ts out.
Aside from all that in the last few weeks I have been called a stoner and a hippie for smoking weed. The stoner reference is a little bit offensive to me as I am never, ever truly stoned. I have said it once so I will say it again I smoke to quite the demons that are constantly battling in my head. Sure it helps me forget and go on with my day so I am able to smile and even dance and sashay but I am always productive. ALWAYS!! So why are all these haters always coming unglued at me? I am more than those individuals who do lives in their lingerie and ya sometimes naked so why hate on me? There is a world out there of beings who are truly trying to be harmful and hurt other people as they make their way through. Everybody wants an accolade until they have to give it away. What is the sense of holding onto so much pride when you can help another being brighten their day?
The only being I care to impress is me so I dress everyday in such a way. I dress in a fashion that brings a smile to my face every time I move from room to room. I dance and twirl as I clean up my house keeping to myself and talking to my cats. In this moment I can not be happier listening to my music and caring for my house that no outside annoyance could ever hope to penetrate. My Aunt always said be mindful of what you value most. The real value that comes when you appreciate life in this way. What I have come to know in this existence is that I can survive without any government assistance or support. Sure I play into their game because as a citizen of this time it is something we have to do but don’t think for one second that I just have gone on to forget my roots, NO!! In my home is my very own garden oasis with birds and a few rodents just to make it all count. They are present in my journey and are a reason for my happiness that I couldn’t imagine a happier little place here on Earth.
Be all that you were born to be before it is too late. Don’t mind what others are saying about you in time what is being said will become just the faintest of whispers. It shouldn’t matter as much who is kind to you as long as you are being kind to yourself. You can make a mountain out of a molehill or you can turn it into a strawberry field for all to feed. You will never know who you will become until you can step outside of the shadows and finally live free.