Light It Up

Imagine being stuck in a life where people are purposely ugly to each other? That there only happiness throughout the day is to try and bring another down. The imagery will never be lost on me. Not in this lifetime and possibly never again. I know that feeling of being bed ridden when nobody comes to visit. Everybody always thinks they will live to tell another day.

What I am stuck in the middle is something that will suck the soul right out of every grave. It hurts to watch what family is capable of doing to each other like all those years before never happened. A beautiful life wasted away to nothing because not too many can tolerate that level of pain. To the ones that are loyal enough to keep coming around every morning are the ones you should treat as gold instead of burdening them as your slave.

The family that continuously takes advantage of each other without giving anything back will find themselves experiencing failure with no possibility of ever getting on track. What the living waits for will become nothing when they are dead. They should have taken the moment to tell each other they loved each other instead of believing everything that they have read. Not everything that is communicated is the God’s honest truth. Why divulge such private information to the company that can’t even make peace and break bread.

The snow falls again in a final f you to this year. What else can the Universe possibly take from us without giving us something to believe in once again. Death is in my mind because death is always what is left. It is the only thing that separates us from finding love and it will keep us separated until we take our last breath. What would you change about the last moment that you and your love had when they were alive? Would you hug them one more time and thank them for all that they have done or would you ignore their very existence and make up excuses to be a living piece of sh*t?

Who am I to talk I haven’t seen my Dad in years? That is the way that they wanted it so I have to be respectful and ignore my fears. I have to push away the tears every damn day that my Dad will never be a part of my sons life. My son is almost 5 years old and my Dad has only seen him once. When push came to shove I had to throw him over a cliff. It take a village to raise a child and who has time to keep the village hermit in. He wanted nothing to do with us first so I cast him aside. I couldn’t allow to happen what happened to my nieces and nephews he has already shown his true colors in that way. He sided with a strange entity that doesn’t share a drop of his blood. That is how I know evil walks among us using her body and wonton ways. Well that is how it happened and how it was portrayed for all to see. What good, honest human being would shun their WHOLE entire family in that way. Not just one or two but the whole lot of us. How can we be the ones who are evil when we all have come from the same place of love?

There is just something in the air that allows some beings to treat others in such a morbid way. Ensuring that any little piece of happiness that they could achieve in their last few years has fallen away by ripped seams. The idea that I have to continue on hearing the onslaught of negativity that comes with a lifetimes of over entitled thinking. That their only thoughts are of themselves and how they can hurt another being today. Especially to those we love. The ones that gave us life. Some can take that relationship and take a proverbial dumb all over it like you can change the ending once it has finally been handed down and come. What I thought was almost impossible will surely drive me insane. The constant Jekyll and Mr Hyde coming from every corner and never stopping. Never stopping not even for a minute. I can’t handle knowing the secrets some people keep and swear me to secrecy never to tell. It is not your secret to tell is what they always say but if I don’t let at least a whisper escape my lips will the secret be lost and never be said? What if some parties needed to know before their last day finally comes. Who are we to seal off that ending with maybe a trace of a promise and a slight tilt of the head.

Anyways that’s my daily rant and I am sticking to it. No since arguing over spilled milk because you know at the end of the day if a cat ain’t around to clean it up then I best be getting it done. Why make a mountain out of a mole hill if I can prevent it at the starting line. I know most days what I need to do to get things done it is just a matter of putting the blinders on and trying to remain incredibly focused. Committed to the task at hand like only a soul on fire could ever dream of mastering one day. Why chase the chance at finding true love when you can find it in yourself after all this time? Become your own best friend like your life depended on it and radiate your truth from the sky. Nobody can promise you that it will be worth it in the end but only you will ever know. Don’t give those who only wish to see you fail that satisfaction of finally seeing you fail. Lit it up tall and high like only you can and ever will.

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