Yesterday my husband decided to try out another creative insult. This time he lashed out at me, “Were you born in a barn?” To which I replied well no not exactly. I lived on a farm near my Grandparents barn and in all reality I was born in a hospital but lived in a trailer park for the first year of my life. And then he looked at me and told me to stop being stupid that it was a figurative of speech.
Mind you what I did was kinda dumb. An oversight one say. As we got to Wal-Mart and I took our Schmoo out I forgot to close the van door. In my defense there’s a button on his remote that locks the van and closes the sliding door. It was my wrong assumption that’s the man he would be locking up the house. So there I was once again being insulted and in my mind I was kind of shocked and at a loss what to do. Then it hit me. No man that I have known for 5 years was going to sh*t on my families legacy. Not today. Not tomorrow. And never, as far as I concerned, while I am still alive.
I started small by asking him what that was supposed to mean. To which he replied you know what I mean. Everybody says it. I don’t know what you mean and are you insulting my family? I come from a long line of proud farmers so what exactly is that supposed to mean? Should I feel insulted? I mean I grew up on a farm after all. We had cows and chickens and some seasons even pigs there was so much work to do that so many can never endure so why say those things about people you didn’t even know? They worked hard for their family, a loyalty in life you will never know. In absence of a regular paycheck they were surrounded by love. There life had infinite meaning then getting lost in this blue collared world.
My family grew up close. Which is odd because now you would never now but we were always with each other, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins there wasn’t a time when we didn’t come together to celebrate. I guess that is the charade. My Grandparents, the closest family beings to being farmers, was the glue that kept our family unit together now you want to insult them by saying I grew up in a barn! I am happy and honored to have their blood coursing through me so please help me understand what that was supposed to mean?
I love my Grandparents so much that even after 20 years I think about them everyday. I try to find a way to make them proud in everything I do. Seems odd right? Not to me. It all depends on what you believe. It all depends on what you believe to happen when you die. Where do you go and what do you become and do you still care about the land of the living and all the things you can not see? I call on my angels from time to time and they have shown me that they do exist. Always in times of complete desperation when I needed their comfort most.
My paternal Grandmother is the one who watches me the most.I hope she isn’t too busy always watching out for me. So when I think about her and that she may have been born in a barn I can’t help but immediately come to her defense. She was such a beautiful women, inside and out. She could provide for her family with little or no means. Milking her cow Patsy to turn butter and make cottage cheese. She would care for her chickens and have a full garden. There were times we got caught stealing peaches from her coveted cold room. What I would do to see her one more time, right in front of me instead of closing my eyes.
That is the problem, the preconceived ideas that we harbour when it comes to everybody else. To me those born in a barn are down so with determination and grace. It would take a certain type of being to be raised in such a way. I remember telling my husband Jesus was born in a barn so what are you trying to say? To which he replied I don’t believe in Jesus. If he was real he wouldn’t treat other beings in such a way. Of course he would. That isn’t the point. He died as the example of what other beings are capable of when they are depraived. They will lynch an innocent man who is good for the people because he doesn’t believe that in this reality we should be anything but treated equal. Imagine that. A reality where we were created equal…take me back to the caveman days!!!
So I am still a little bit vague of why I should feel inferior to a race that is so insistent on never giving back. Turning the Universe into a cement kingdom we will deplete the Universe faster than we can say I know. What we have done to modernize the world I think we have taken it to a place of no returns or take backs. Like we annihilated certain living beings and growing species without even a second thought or cause for concern. So who is the beast in this situation I think it is you. Where I chose to honour ALL life you are insistent on engaging in certain things that my heart and soul can and never will do.