Magik Mommy

What I love about Magik is it is the constant work and manipulation of the elements around us using what is already inside of us to bring what we are hoping for into fruition and life. What becomes lost among so many is this incestuous idea that we are entitled to so much more. The only thing that we are entitled to is the energy that resides inside of us which will become the source of so much misunderstanding and pan. What I love most about the elements that reside all around me is that they have become the only truth in this world that I will ever need to know. Wrap your mind around that entity and tell me what you might find. If you can admit that most things around us have come alive so why do we ignore what they can do for us always expecting something more. Give back to the world that has tirelessly been breathing around us this whole time, holding onto the secrets that our ancestors have kept since the dawn of time. We are foolish to think that this moment is all we will ever need when we will open our eyes tomorrow until we can open our eyes no more.

My weakness has been trying to rally those around me to do the right thing. Spend more time with my child before he is grown, he is growing like a weed and at times he seems a little rowdy and out of control. I love those that think that all they need to do is tell a child who they are and expect them to come in near. My Grandparents were somebody I grew up around almost daily, so I can’t fault my son for not wanting to hang around those people he does not know. Just because you tell him over and over again who you are doesn’t mean it sinks. Have you been around for birthdays? How about holidays? Why don’t you let that sink all in. What Magik has done for me is it has opened up my eyes. My eyes are now open to all the the things I can not see, my heart too. I couldn’t imagine being a little person having my parents argue over spending time with me. I mean they couldn’t possibly be fighting over Instagram and what is this blog thing my mom keeps speaking of. Every time I would ask my husband for some time so I can get to “my things” I can hear his little heart break. Not because what I am doing is rude because he just doesn’t understand that he finds himself to be in. It is not my fault or his for not understanding it just is. So now it is absolutely important for me to regain his trust and become his friend.

Of course I want to do it all, I believed the success of my life depended on it. I am thankful for the elements that I find around me because they give me a purpose in this existence that sustains me. I can learn about the world around me with my son by my side. It isn’t that he is a detriment to my existence he is the very part that makes me life come alive. I feel bad for every fight I had when all I wanted was a minute to myself. That minute will come eventually and I am in no rush to find out how and when it is coming. I try not to get to worked up anymore as this moment is what I have always wanted and lived for. In those moments when I had nobody I longed for a child and now here he is right here beside me. I know what it feels like when the rest of the world turns their head and laughs and says no more. Unfortunately I know the heartbreak of being made to feel not good enough and for a young child he should never have to feel that. If he was in daycare he would be kept busy for hours but he doesn’t go to any such place. It was decided long ago that what he needed was to stay home. The pandemic didn’t do us any favours.

So what I need the rest of the world to understand is that although I am still here my son needs me that much more. He is the only reason why I am here and I need to remind myself of all those things. That there is no reason for living as he is the reason why I came back. It wasn’t to get laid or find new love it was to honour and protect the new love I was given. My mind thinks back to a time where a woman truly honoured their position in the family network. Where their life mission was to honour and raise a little being into becoming a strong, virile man. Women would raise these children even though they knew there would be a time for them to be led off and killed. Not because a tyrant came into their village because the King who ruled over them made it so. So many families were ravaged by war yet we still let it go on, now in today’s time. We have learned nothing from the centuries of sacrifice and hate. Yet here in the western world we care more about our libido’s and getting off then we care about the families losing everything they ever had because of a selfless war.

Magik can’t save us all but it can give us a little hope. It will make us take a look at the elements and try to understand how the manipulation of some items might just make for a better day. That is all some of us have in this cruel, cruel world. In an existence where foes can become lovers in the blink of an eye it can all be taken away and when it finally does we will be forced to remain in silent never again being able to have our say.

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