Everyday is a struggle to get out of bed for when I do there is a lifetime of activities and feelings that I don’t have a lot of time to get through. The only thing I truly dream of becoming is that girl that almost 50 years ago I was brought into this life to be. My birthday is soon approaching with 43 turns around this fireball we call a sun, I am nowhere closer to having any of the answers that somebody tried to teach me long ago. I think what we forget in our arrogance is there are those in our wake who are just trying to get us to take a break and slow down. Take time to plant those seeds and grow those flowers because that is truly the essence of what a life well lived should mean.

We worship plastic and forget about life. At least that is what I see with ever slice of the cosmetic knife. Don’t let the hands of time have their wayward way with you. Who could possibly ever love you with all of those grey hairs? Think about our pets. They never care what kind of day you had they are happiest to see that you have arrived safely at home. Any rumours that are being spread about you become absolete. Can you fill my food bowl and give me another pet? Life should feel like that so simple and carefree but something happened over the last few hundred years that made it impossible for life to ever feel good again or for people to believe that they were equal and in fact that we were one and the same. It started a long time ago when who only believed that the color of the skin could determine your own worth. If it was up to me to decide who was worthy enough to inhabit the whole planet I would have to side with the darker the skin the closer one is to God. How can they not be? They took a look at nature and her elements and stared her right in the face. They thanked her for the bountiful harvest and cared for her creatures like we were all worthy and entitled to the land. They didn’t have weapons, other than what was required to hunt. I couldn’t imagine the fear that entered into every man, woman and child as these boats rolled up and took everybody aboard. Imagine living free then being told what to do. Chained to a bed of torture. Getting whipped for everything and anything that displayed your true intentions and revealed all that was you. Human beings were used as commodities now we laugh and play like nothing every happened. The country below me was built on torture and the one I live in was ok with perverting what it meant to belong to a family, stealing away children so that they would never be found.

So I can’t. Well I can’t no longer. I need to rebunk every theory that was ever poised to me that way. I grew up during a time where education was racist and that was only in 1993. I grew up calling Indigenous savages thinking that the Indians that lived among me were no good. As a child I thought they would come and take my hair. Scalping I think had become my biggest fear. I think that is why it became so easy to fall into an abusive relationship at such a young age. Sure my boyfriend used to hit, bit and maim me but it could be worse if I ended up with a Native, is what they would all say. Rude isn’t it? And it makes me so mad. I think I relate more to that culture than any because the white washed culture just makes me so sad. I think that is why I love to read because I can control the information that is permeating my brain and maybe just maybe I can raise a different type of being. One that is kind and caring towards all beings and not just the ones that promise fame and fortune. From what I can tell from all the information being leaked by Hollywood that there was only fame if you were forced to lie in another monsters bed. The amount of predators coming out in the woodwork should bring every being too shame. How drool that we don’t care too much for our most innocent up to and including the ones that share the same name.

My energy is low because I allow the poison of the outside world to affect my presence day. Instead of focusing on what is most important in the world I find that at times my brain begins to lead my a stray. In my life I want to be a master of it so what better way than to continuously study? How can you master anything, including your life, if you don’t do anything to make it obvious that you are feeling that way. It is more than a perfectly portrayed photo using all of the best light or how many friends will come to celebrate when it comes to sharing your day. What is it you put out for others to receive and can you make it more comfortable for others to begin to feel this way? I haven’t worked in 5 years, well I dabbled just a little but what was very clear when I was doing so was I was living somebody else’s livelihood and dreams. I was just a vessel for making somebody else’s reality come true. I was bound to a code of ethics that another had pre-determined but the bottom line was always how do we make it so that the big man gets paid? Every sale, every product had another’s intention interlined with it. It was crazy to me to see how much people would pay for expired product that was just sitting there on the shelf. I always wanted to find something that would enhance my life without taking anything away. The price tag included. I can’t justify spending that kind of dollar for synthetically enhanced products when I can use recipes handed down from our ancestors that were used to do the exact same things. For example. Ice cream used to be made out of cream, sugar and flavouring until some big entitled big wig decided he wanted to have his way enter plastic. The same ingredients that make up that plastic pail are found in the ingredients so you tell me what is the sense in blindly following them for? There is no way that man has perfected in a hundred years what it has taken hundreds of billions of years to do. The only man who wasn’t ignorant to this path of evolution was Darwin, but does anybody truly ever want to understand his words?

Please take a second to take a look at my always evolving group The Bombshell Besties (https://www.facebook.com/groups/593937275285036) formerly The Bombshell Betties. The word besties is so powerful to me and bombshell means that once we have found each other there will be no hope of any outside force interrupting our inner strength and psyche. I have been sitting on this idea for awhile and now it has come to a head. In the absence of Color Street products in Canada I will provide for my sisterhood products that actually work. I don’t just want to sell strips to a stranger than laugh my way to the bank, no. I want to help each one of us love our hands and that includes curating treats for them to use from my garden. I just recently infused some Shea Butter with my harvested CBD hemp leaves and have ordered in an epoxy mold to make jars so stay tuned. All testing of products will be offered to my Besties first so you better make sure to get in xx!!