I know what you did, yet I keep you close and for the life of me I can not figure out why. What started was just a little bit of an inkling is now sitting heavy on my chest and inside my mind. You see what you will never fully understand is I know the lies that you told while my back was turned to people that you thought would never tell your lies back to me. I know what you said and why you said it now how funny it is now that the tables have turned back towards me.
What you said about me was to get me hated in a town where I already had few friends. I feel that now. With every ounce of my being I see you for the monster that you are and the game of cards you thought you could play and win. See you may think you are close in my inner circle but I think even you have your doubts about whether or not I know about the lies that you said. It was not even an accusation because what you said I did with what I found in your room had never even crossed my mind, not once. I can actually say I hate you for saying those words because the reality is I was being abused across the street from you in my parents house. So now that is all I can say about who you may be. I know what you said and how you said it. I will never forgive you for accusing me in the way that you did. My own mother asked me what happened and when the realization came to me that the source of this venom could only come from one place I instantly hated you. You were never out to protect anybody just to benefit yourself and to that I do not think I will ever forgive you.
As a young girl to have to grow up in such a sexually explicit relationship was horrifying. I hated every minute of it. Tried to kill myself a few times then you found out about a situation and used it for your own knowledge to capitalize. I know you knew about what was happening to me because how could you not. The abuse I was made to endure was so violent and horrific that you came up with your own lies to tell about me. Now I know why I am hated by my whole family. It was because of the words that you ultimately said about me. I see you now and I know what you started with the words that you said. Alienation from my family is one thing but I would rather be isolated from you all than keep on living. What you did to my poor mother by uttering your slander and filth is something that I will always remember and you are now aware of it because this will sit heavy in your throat and eventually fester. What I love about the truth is that it will set you free. My truth sets me free but your lies never will. I will never forgive you for the divide you caused in my family and I will use my success to catapult myself into a dimension you can never visit just sit and stare at and wish that you could.
Remember what they said about a woman scorned. I wish they would. The fuel I now have inside me to guide me is something you will never come close to understanding. There is no possibility I could even share it with something as venomous as you. I still get so angry when I think about what you said and why you said it now I am thinking you had something to hide. What was it. A crumbling marriage. You must have been cheating. Is that why you had to relinquish some of that heat onto me. To this day I still can not understand it but the accusation makes me sick. To think that you are still in close company turns my stomach even more and I have no idea ow much more of this I can take. I know what you are about and the lies that you tell others in order for you to seem relevant or at the very least interesting to other people that would never pay you no mind. It is funny isn’t it? Where you are now compared to where you thought I would be. Jokes on you it seems for all the ways you tried to get others to scorn me now it is me with my guard up waiting and hoping for the one day that you get played.
I know what you did and the truth is actually horrifying. I want to know what you hoped to gain from an accusation so depraved. I want to believe you said it to get other people to hate me. At the very least you were jealous of the potential I had brewing up inside of me so you had to destroy it. For somebody who always had such direct access your betrayal should have hurt me the worse but I saw you coming faster than they could have even possibly loaded up that hearse. Now maybe it makes more sense because the fruit never falls far from the tree. I used to obsess that it was my fault but now I realize that I was just a kid and there was no way possibly it could ever be me. I watch who you keep close and who you celebrate your days with. All those around you are an indication of who exactly to keep away. If they swarm around you exclaiming your virtues I know that you were effective in your poison but you weren’t able to capture me. I see foul people and they stink to the high heavens. I would rather walk alone in this world then have somebody like you beside me. In the end it is always me.