I hate to say this out of fear of being even more outcast and hated but haven’t we taken what it means to be human just a little too far? Don’t we need to look out that window of history to see what those who were really awoke what they stood for and more. It is absolutely insane to think that just because somebody was coming to age over 2,000 years ago that they didn’t feel at least a little bit the same as we do. You know that longing and feeling of uncertainty that comes when we are unsure of who we are becoming or even our own identity. Life has become so confusing and you can see us as humans struggling in all the ways. We were never meant to live so entitled and so self centered and selfish but we have to begin to live that way or fear of being ridiculed and made to feel insane. I don’t want to shame anybody for the way they live their lives or how they even behave I just feel I need to get these thoughts and feelings out of me before I become to find myself resting in an early grave.

Think of the tales that have been handed down throughout time. They all talk about the demise of being human and what it is we are prepared to destroy in order to get our rocks off and hear another body scream out your name. You forget about those that have wondered this land before us and what they were prepared to lose for you to be able to act out in such a way. Evil comes alive inside every heart and lives outside on every street corner every time you indulge in one of the seven senses and tell the masses it is your right or hit the highway. I am speaking from a place of childhood rape and abuse and it hasn’t escaped my brain how incredibly damaging that lifestyle can bring onto you. What adults seem to forget or they don’t care to even realize that there is more than a continuous climax to orgasms’ you have to prepare for your own legacy and the longevity of your children. We don’t care to anymore as divorce rates sky rocket through the roof. I can tell you the grass will always be greener on the outside because it isn’t you who has to do the hard work to maintain it.

What I crave is true love and that is far harder to obtain than sex. Sex will always feel the same with just an average nobody so I think I would rather preserve my good name. Work daily on the grind like one day I might make it to the top. I know I sound like a complete lunatic but at least I start each day with both feet on the ground. I look towards ALL life like it can teach me something and help me give something back. How to be kinder to those that are stranger than me and how to always keep my eye on the end prize which is me. When the sun rises so do I as I run from room to room giving the basics of live. There is nothing more satisfying than watching something thrive in your care as I realize there is infinite value in us just being here. The difference between love and sex is the later usually always disappears. Like I said up in the beginning when you have been with one you have been with them all so like Cleopatra waited I would rather wait for my soul mate. The one who lights my fire long into the night. My better half, my equal, the one who can always make me feel alright. I don’t know if that being exists but even if they did I wouldn’t be able to lay out on my back and betray my family. I don’t care what decade or era I find myself in. There is got to be more to this life than that.

So let’s do a quick mathematical equation and you can see just how this works. You invest time in things that are important to you, well if you can. Some of us work let’s say an 8 to 10 hour day. So out of 24 hours we are down to 16-18 and that isn’t doesn’t even include the basics like eating and sleeping. Let’s say 3 meals at 30 minutes and we can manage by with only a 6 hour nap so that’s 8.5 to 10.5 hours left in a day. That isn’t even factoring travel time back and forth to where you need to go so let’s say we deduct another 2 hours or so. If you live in any urban city center or just outside of one this number should be incredibly realistic. Now we are at the 6.5 to 8.5 hr mark and we haven’t even factored in basic hygiene such as showering, makeup or even hair. Let’s say you are in a rush and you can manage about an hour for all that. Not me Dahlings but for some an hour is just enough time to make do. Here we are with 7.5 to 5.5 hr in our days and that is not even factoring in if any of these things took a little bit longer or if you slept in. There are still errands that needs to be run, maybe you have pets or children. There can be aging parents and gardens and yards to maintain then when it all comes down to now you are expected to put out for sex. That is what Hollywood and mainstream media needs you to believe. If you aren’t getting off then there is something wrong with you. You must be crazed, baked or badly damaged to live a life that not many others are used to. I get that and I think about that a lot. The whole concept of value. What is the point on connecting with so many beings when you can’t take all these beings and connections with you? Focus on what is important and that is what is closest to your heart. The ones who gave you this chance to come alive and explore the living and maybe some good health. I am just a housewife with family morals that still reach me from far beyond the grave. If you believed your ancestors were good people wouldn’t that be enough to make you want to behave?