I cut myself off from the world around me because I was tired of all the haters just standing around watching me bleed. Ever have a group of friends who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire? Heck!! I have watched said friends decide to pour me over with gasoline. They were hoping that the fire would catch on and take me back to where I was from but what they didn’t know and what they will never be privy to is I was born a Phoenix and I was born to rise.

I over analyze EVERYTHING. Words, attitude, eye rolls. I have seen it all and once your true colors begin to show I kick you to the curb like the chameleon you are. There are foes and then there are those who are eagerly hoping and wishing for your demise and to those beings I use their hate as fuel to light up my night.

There is nothing that should ever become more important than the life and entities that you have been sent here to protect. Well here’s to hoping that you absorb an existence that goes far beyond you. What so many have decided to do I am starting to open my eyes to. Maybe. The problem I have with remaining childless is what happens to all those things you valued when you died? Doesn’t it all become for nothing? As you age do you begin to throw it all away? Somebody else will when they come along and look at all the garbage that you decided to hoard. In death all your secrets come alive in the most tragic way which begs to have the question answered does every dog have its day?

My son is becoming even more damaged with every time me and my husband fight. Absorbing every word and movement he becomes angrier and sadder everyday. I have committed the next few years to him like I should have done all these times before. When COVID hit it took everything all because in my family it wasn’t necessary for me to work so maybe I coddled him. Just a little bit but in my eyes I haven’t done enough. What I remember happening before all this hit is children still dying and taking advantage of. We live in a world where what Epstein and Giselle did is seen as being ok. Even worse off I live in a country where if you were an Indigenous child growing up between 1920’s to possibly even the early 90’s you were met with an early grave. Now coming up in two days they want us to celebrate!!! Nah!! What we should be doing is hosting a National funeral for all those lives that were once here that our over entitled rich founders decided to take away and steal. But we won’t. There will be birthday cake in our communities made with all that spilled blood. What human beings are capable of I will never, ever be able to relate.

What the entitled have done to us is sick as they try to maintain their authority and their own sick way. Staying out of mainstream anything is my only saving grace. Is it public knowledge that the US President is a member of the Ku Klux Klan? The fact that this group still remains to be organized will always send tremors throughout my brain. This is a HATE group content on controlling a land that was never theirs to begin with. This is why I will always support the rise of the Hell’s Angels, not this childish puppet clubs that try to start sh*t out of high school so they can be bullies and have their way.

Bet you didn’t know that the HA had a code of ethics did you? Unspoken rules that are expected to be followed. What I loved about this organized group of what the world wants you to believe are criminals is that they do right by their brothers, women and children. They don’t brag to the world who they are because there are no words that need to be said. Those that speak of belonging to this group are just some wannabe haters probably living off the streets. What do I know right? Would you believe I lived in the hood? I was right there front stage and center during one of the most complicated street hustle takeovers between the HA, United Nations and Independent Soldiers. Not only that there was this intense influx of violence with small town street gangs trying to run their blocks. Seems odd doesn’t it? How can a family woman have such complicated ties in her past? My truth is I have always lived a hustler lifestyle working 3 jobs back then to make ends meet. I wasn’t no gangster and I was privy to no secrets. I was just in love with a man who we lost to the the streets even though I tried to save him in every that I thought I could.

I know what is out there and lurks in the shadows waiting to cut us off from the rest of the world. I see you and your discontent even though you try so hard to cover it up for the rest of the world to see. There is no shame in where I come from as I try to revive the past. I don’t do it as an excuse to live depressed. I do it so that others can recognize that they aren’t alone and feel safe enough to come out of the shadows. We only live once so we should value our own presence like it is the only one on Earth. It is possible that you could be the last man standing so why not be kind instead of living a life that will hurt. I keep those away who look at me like I am expendable and I kick them to the curb. There is no reason for you to come a knocking anymore now that I know what I am worth.