I look around at the people who insist on doing the bare minimum and I am forced to wonder why is it that they even exist. How is it that made it this far barely skimming underneath that proverbial radar and how long will it take before they are eventually set off.

We like to point our fingers at our kids but we forget we made them this way. With divorce rates higher than inflation what is it we were hoping to expect? No parent is home anymore with their children. There are bills to pay and bellies to feed. This is how they keep us tired and depressed. Never realizing our truest potential. Doing the bare minimum just to even out an old score.

There is a new baby being born just as a new soul is being taken. There is something surreal about this moment we all find ourselves basking in. As a little girl I didn’t realize how much the world would keep taken. I had no idea that cell phones and social media would be the everyday norm. It took a while to break that cycle in. The one where we needed the world to believe that we were going to be a somebody. It should be enough that we show up but in most social circles that will never be quite enough. If you haven’t lived through the social drag that most of us are now privy too, can you actually say you experienced what living is actually?

There is something to be said for learning to adjust to what society has deemed a necessity for us. With cell phones attached to our hips we answer to everybody and we forget who it is we actually wanted to become. I can remember countless outings with people just to watch them on their phone. Oh this text is important to me. Let me take this call. Nah, I am good. I think I am better off at home.

You have to watch out for those who always believe they are better than everybody. They act like just because they got all their sh*t together and out of the barrel we should bow down before them like they were the holy grail. I maybe a perfectionist but that is only in my own eyes. I never would lower the boom onto so many and leave them all squirming around for some air.

I know that I am different. Weird at best and at working for the most of it. I always keep my nose down trying to accomplish the next something instead of sitting around doing absolutely nothing. I remember the days when cable used to take me away now from all directions I can see how the message is all the same. Do nothing with your life but gravitate towards ours. The kicker in the end is we were all fictional it was you who wasted your life until the bitter end.

How many ties have you been stuck living a life to make another being happy. You know what I am talking about. Waiting in the shadows for it to be your time but if you don’t ever learn to use your voice than your time may never come. You have heard me talk before about what are you doing to increase your game? To get to the next level and try to one day even the score?

Do you still worry about those that have always been out to hurt you or have you developed a thick skin and learned to look out for number one. You are number one you know? Nobody else should matter or have a say to what it is you find yourself engaging in on the day to day. They will try and some will succeed but if you turn to look around you who is that you find you are looking for and the heart that you will always need.

I am so tired but I keep on trying. I don’t know when I will finally throw up my hands in exclamation that I can no longer go on this way. Not like this and for sure not today. I reflect back on my life and I get tired. I think of those who no longer need me and I just want to scream. There was a time in life when we were all inseparable now I have no idea where to find those people or who I can even trust to call a friend.

We will spend our lives searching becoming to numb from all the pain. Why do we need to work our fingers to the bone so that somebody else get’s rich and famous and we are forced into our 1 bedroom apartment wondering where and how is it that we got it all wrong. How can we trust those when we can barely trust ourselves. There is a reason why we find ourselves where we are. Alone in the shadows begging for anybody to stop and listen all we want to do is be heard.

Just for a moment we want to be recognized for where we came from and who we once were. We used to have a family who loved us then they believed all the poisonous whispers that they heard. If somebody has a secret that can bring us to our knees do we even care about the source of the secret? What if it was a lie? Do we wait for them to become undone? Or is it better to be on the side with all the pitchfork’s and torches? Isn’t it safer to be where anger sits and festers and waits to be fed?

That is how mobs work. They consume everything that is living dead in their tracks. They don’t care if it is truth or poison as long as it gets them the attention they have always hoped for and now they are served. Served with temptation which way will they go? Will they live a life of honour or will another friend become a foe?