Self Discovery

With the realization of anything what is most important to you becomes clearer.

What sets me aside from most people is I see the life that thrives inside each one of us. I don’t see the separation between animal, plants and even human. To me we are each one and the same. Not sure what it is we are all doing but wanting to all be happy just the same.

TV is hard to watch some days. The glorification of gluttonous minds is too much for my heart and mind. I watched a family of 5 polish off a small farm and held up all their meat like it was a glorious prize. I couldn’t help but feel disgusted. This was more than just wanting to get your fill. Imagine being an animal opening your eyes for the first time only to be told by the ones around you your life will amount to your owner’s dinner and never could it possibly be anymore. We aren’t all as lucky as Babe in Charlotte’s Web. Sometimes those who granted us with life will get great satisfaction when they decide you are too much trouble and desire to take your essence away. There are those who want nothing more than to see you shine, then there are those who are the rust and will become nothing in your life except for turmoil and decay.

I tried to imagine just 6 years ago before my son was even a thought. It is impossible to imagine what was when you know how it ended up to be and I can’t help but feeling pride that I help created that. My son may not be perfect but he is perfectly me so when it comes to spending my days doing something I spend all of my time with him. I may have made a mistake when he was younger. I truly had no idea what it was I should even be doing. I had planned to read books but my trip to emergency changed that. All else considering I may not have read those books after all.

What the world still doesn’t understand is I want to accomplish a lot but the first thing I want to be successful at is setting him up properly in life. I don’t want to leave it up for the teachers to do I want him to be handed down all the information and knowledge that was handed down to me. Forget all the technological stuff like turning things on, let me teach how to control and manipulate life and you will be rewarded by always having your belly fed.

I am a vegetarian by proxy and I am a lover of all life. What the rest of the world tried to bestow upon me I was reminded why I was granted life. I am my Mother’s Child and even my Grandmother’s at best. I am the model of the women who came before me who were exiled once they took there last breath. Forgotten about forever they only come to me in my dreams. Help me become the woman I was born to be and make this reality be all that it seems.

I wasn’t made for everybody. Quite frankly, I always knew I was born to stand out. I always moved and behaved a little differently absorbing the energy in the room so that I could make it all work. Where so many get it wrong you can’t lower your presence onto unsuspecting victims like they have no choice, no. You have to spin a web around as you take notes and come to know what makes the people in the party tick. Nobody likes to feel like an outsider so you have to do your best to try and make them fit in. Make whoever it is you have your focus on became the only thing you notice. Burn that moment straight into your brain. I have a conscious memory of how to make those in a room sing, instead of grating on their nerves among other things.

The evolution of self is a slippery slope. Do we even have time to try and become all the things we desire to be? Can we live a life that brings us happiness instead of feeding into our fears? Do we really need a mass a people around us to keep us going or can we survive alone on just our cheers? I have become my biggest fan because nobody else cares and nobody else is watching. I do what I was born to do because there will be a day when I no longer can. I honour those who are good to me like it was the last thing I could do before I die. It is all possible it could be my last day today so why not live it so glorious like there could be no other way!!

I do what others do because I am so woke I can see EVERYTHING. I want to be a part of the light when it comes instead of being carried away into the dark. I never liked what was lurking in the shadows anyways. Covered up with their blanket of protection like some hungry, ravenous shark. The order of the day is to be so sweet I give other people cavities and stop worrying so much what other people say. Sure it hurts when you hear what friends have been saying about you but if you ask me that is the biggest gift from above. I can cut them and turn on my heels and leave.

If we had Angels would they really keep helping us out if we kept hashing out over and over again all the things that had never worked out? We have to stop being so ignorant and take accountability for our own lives and the children we brought into this world. They don’t know how to live without us yet and should have an inkling of your own family values and worth. Without that central point being the force that drives you home how can we ever be the light source of energy we were all destined to be? We all have to be accountable but we are lacking that confidence that we should have in ourselves? What happens to us when we become copies of each other will we just fade away or evolve into something else?

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