Breaking Glass

When somebody dies and crosses over we all look for signs that they are still with us. We need to believe that somehow within their tragedy there can be a blessing to come out of all of this pain.

Random pennies appearing used to be a sign that an angel was here but with times of inflation and the removal of this currency it slowly moved over to being dimes for me. I know what you are thinking dimes are you serious? But I kid you not in the middle of nowhere. On some random road. At a time when I needed the presence of my last Grandmother there was about 100 dimes lying out in the road in front of me. I was with my ex if you don’t believe me. We were leaving the courthouse to see if they stuck with his charges that day. Actually I think we were looking to see if there was a warrant out for his arrest and that is why we took the back roads that day.

It was probably a roll or two of dimes thrown from a car window but why would somebody do something like that. Well considering all the variables it was probably a girl going to bail out her boyfriend who just found out he cheated so she was high tailing it out of there. Why she would toss out his bail money I don’t know. But I think it is comical to think somebody rolled up their change and headed to the courthouse. Either way I took it as a sign that my angels were with me that day.

Some look to butterflies or dragonflies that like to appear out of nowhere. Consider how transcendent they are and how relaxing they can be when they are near. I don’t think it is possible for our ancestor’s energy to exist in such a being however, I do believe they are messages sent from our loved ones who are just a little bit too far out of our reach.

I look for signs similiar to that of Houdini. Such a famous escape artist told his wife if there was a way to communicate with her after he was gone he would find a way. He could escape any predicment that he ever found himself in that nothing as short as death could stop him. Did it? I have no idea. He was never able to show his wife that she was here or was it more so he showed her signs and she just didn’t believe?

So. How to find the words without upsetting anybody and saying too much. My friend’s sister was murdered as she was leaving her house. It happened just recently and it has been hard for me to find the words. See I was friend with her brother’s so many years ago at a time when I didn’t even know who I was. I was struggling with self esteem and was addicted to partying and doing drugs. It was the life that I always thought I wanted and I was always left craving more.

That lifestyle is what I ran away from because I desired something else. I desired so desperately to be a mom. My only regret is stopping at just one. Cameron Diaz is giving me hope though. Having a baby at 36!!

I have becoming more spiritual these days with a deeper understanding of self. I light incense and talk to my Grandma all while staying medicated and cleaning the house. Of course there is my son who takes up most of my days but in between the chaos I steal a moment for myself, staring out the window catching some raws.

I wanted to make a wish to her brother’s and that she crossed over to the other side. So I lit an incense, set up a picture of my Grandmother and I held in my hand a piece of celestine, lit the torch and had a hoot.

As I thought about the days back when we were younger, time stood still and it all made sense. I asked my Grandmother to put her arms around her and make sure that she was ok. I can not explain to you why it happened but when I opened up my eyes and hand to make my wish that is when I heard the sound of crashing glass. I did this 100 times a day why at this exact moment did glass decide to break?

All I could think about is when two opposing forces collide. Remember what the physic told me my angels were tired of doing? Keeping me out of harms way and making sure that evil never came to visit or settle in to stay.

I think it was her way of saying that she couldn’t do as I requested. That these were the people she tried so tirelessly to keep me away from and if I had any regrets of the life I chose that all that would happen is it would rip the life as I knew it in half.

What happened was the carb cap popped off from the hoot I was taking and smashed into a coke glass down below. It severed the cup almost in half. A representation of the colliding of two worlds. The carb cap was left mint and the glass was literally severed. What an odd thing to happen on a Monday afternoon when all you were doing was making a protection wish.

I know she doesn’t mean any ill will but she is reminding to tread lightly and move forward with an honest heart. Not everybody has honest intentions or integrity or can move forward into the night when the rest of the world lies still.

Here is the link to the footage of when I broke the glass….

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