A Matter of Instinct

I wish I could tell you that overall the world is nice. That everything is going to be ok and one day you will find a way to break through the ice. That all the insecure feelings that you are weighed down with by this moment will slowly melt away and all the happiness and love that you seek will find a way to you one day. I wish I could tell you that everything will be ok. That life will seem so blessed and magical as you go through life in your own way but what I may tell you may sting a little but it is best to open your eyes and in order for you to have your say.

Not everybody has honourable attentions. Sometimes in life people always look out for number 1 and that is all that they can manage. If you are new to a group they want to get their claws in you first. So they can help for your opinion of others and have another ally, they hope, on their side. Be careful with witches who only engage in a conversation to berate other diva’s. There is no place for such hate in this already overly frigid world. Frigid being the wrong word as most people I know would most certainly put out. We are definitely cold.

Those people who tell you to stop living in the past are wrong. There is a difference in living to help enlighten and educate instead of hanging out there as an excuse to be a total mess. Grief is hard though. It is the number one killer of life. Once it finds a way to leech away all happiness it will do so with a fever and not even thinking twice. So I share my story not to get pity but to try and give other people hope. I dislike those people who are always an antagonist instead of keeping their mouths shut and just going to bed.

Life is not going to be easy and it is just going to get scarier. There were two missing kids just yesterday, a rollover, a pedestrian struck and that is just the tip of all the drama that has happened. Just down the street teenage kids showed up at a new neighbours house at 1 in the morning. Kind of like a welcome to the neighborhood but what they did was scare this family. They put on ski masks and held onto weapons as they rang their doorbell and taunted them through the window. It was a young family of 4 whose somebody else’s kids thought to terrorize. How am I supposed to feel ok with the direction that the world is going when this is apparently something common that kids are doing? Tik Tok ruined the world with all these ridiculous challenges they decide to do. They broke all the toilets in our high school because smashing ceramic potties is cool. Get a life and one preferably not one near me.

My decision not to conform to society’s weird set of standards is something I just can bring myself to do. Why raise my son with such communistic values that were responsible for erasing a culture and stealing their kids. No ownership has ever been given just like in the Epstein trial. We are sorry that something happened to your children but this is an Adult’s world and they were all just collateral damage. That is what it feels like so how am I supposed to trust. There is no accountability anymore and there will never be honour amongst thieves. What they keep taking from us is a core set of values and a place we can call home. So many children getting raised in broken homes and I for one am feeling overwhelmed and not sure what to do.

Every which way I turn my head I am confronted with the way we have all failed. We had one job and one job only and that was to live compassionately but we decided to throw all that and then some out the window instead. Be nice unless there is value in beating Bob then hit him over the head. Nobody is watching you anyways and can you believe all the things that he said? Listen to him go on and on about how much better he is than all of us. Is that a greenback I see coming out of his wallet? Oh hell that is like a thousand dollars sitting there just waiting for me. Then there is consequences to your actions to which there is none. As long as you say you are sorry and promise to repeat that offending action again. Do you know how many murderers I have crossed path with that have only served 1/3 of their time? Pedophiles? Rapists? I kid you not.

One time when I was working at the bank I was opening up an account for a convicted rapist. Who knows how he did what he did because the first thing I noticed he was missing one arm from the elbow. No big deal but could he really be as violent as they said? He appeared so nice but in front of me was his release papers. As a convicted criminal when you are released you have to apply to get back your ID so their inmate card and particulars are all that you might see. This was early 2000 after all. What he did to women was alarming how could they set this man free but I opened his account and when on with my day that was until the phone call came. He called me because I gave him my business card there was a list of paperwork that he was to receive which included my card. What he wanted was help using the ATM a few blocks away. Uhmm NO!! That is just good common sense. I knew who he was but what would happen to the girl who he wouldn’t have to confess his darkest secrets too?

You have to believe that we as humans are capable of doing all that is bad. That the only person you can trust is you alone and your instincts and let all others kick rocks and hit the road. You don’t have to send them packing right away just when they get your guard up. Always keep in the back of your mind that you are smarter than that and where before you might have been weak it is not going to happen. Not today.

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